Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cramazicryin

First off just wanted to say thank you Pittsburgh for letting me be in you last night.

That came out wrong.

BloggingJason and I took ourselves a little last second road trip to the steel city for a Drive-By Truckers / Hold Steady co-headlining the ROCK SHOW. Luckily there were trained medical professionals on site to administer help to those who were rocked into kick-drum convulsions. My procktologist is still trying to put me back together after the dual band encore made a mess in my Batman undies.

But enough about my ass.

Something magical happened on the way home. Something that can only happen during a 2am drive through the wooded hills of a school-night road trip. In the foggy haze of Steel City raindrops and basking in our post-rock glow, these two weary travelers set out on a journey through the bowels of the XM-Sirius merger.

It started with a conversation. A tired argument with neither side caring to win and the battle lines not clearly drawn.

Aerosmith's "Crazy" - rock genius or 90's throw-away?

We gave our arguments, pleaded our case and then slipped away without so much as a resolution or conclusion. Somewhere Alicia Silverstone is begging us to continue - this is all she has.

A few more miles, a few more Gin Blossoms songs and suddenly we found ourselves staring down the barrel of Aerosmith's "Amazing".

Suddenly it was clear to us both, there was more in the air than those icy November raindrops. There was the chance to be something special.

This time there was no argument, just a silent realization that we had exactly 47 minutes to achieve a feat so rare and unexpected, most had given up hope. A feat that's time has passed and is now only spoken about in hushed voices or referenced in obscure Youtube videos.

We were sprinting towards the finish line of the Aerosmith Triple Crown.

As "Amazing" wrapped up it's delicious morsel and the radio again shifted to a forgotten tune from a 90's band that is undoubtedly now working at Starbucks (this time in the form of the Spin Doctors), we fell silent. I stepped on the gas peddle, I willed those airwaves to test fate, to challenge the gods and to etch our names forever in the stone of immortality.

And then it happened. As our tired bodies began to give out on hope, as we inched towards our destination, hope trickling out of us like a leaky valve, Steven Tyler whispered to us through the sound of the road, the rain and our waning spirits.

"There was a time,
when I was so broken hearted,
love wasn't much of a friend of mine."

The triple crown.

We started our trip, hopped up on speed and rock, arguing the merits of "Crazy".

We became weary and tired, humming a few bars of "Amazing" as we stared out speckled windows.

But as we neared home, we achieved greatness in "Cryin'".

The Aerosmith Triple Crown.

All done in 2 hours and 17 minutes.

Cramazicryin.

26 comments:

Arjewtino said...

Ah, the elusive Aerosmith Triple Crown, like Loch Ness and the abominable snowman, often discussed but rarely seen.

Who knew Pittsburgh would be good for something?

surviving myself said...

I seriously can't stand Aerosmtih. All of their songs suck. Every single one. I would've smashed the radio if I was there. Of course then you'd probably not want to hang out anymore.

Alexa said...

i'm thinking you should get the aerosmith only guitar hero game and you and jason can rock out together again.

i still really like "dream on" and i also whistle "love in an elevator" 3 out of 5 mornings heading up to work. no joke.

Vicky said...

Haha, that first line had me thinking 'Is Pittsburgh a blogger or something?'. I'm glad you added the second line :-)

I can't believe I actually recognise an Aerosmith song from those few lyrics! Yay me :-)

Crazy and Amazing don't ring a bell though. Must go check the internets...

SS+1 said...

truly a breathtaking adventure!

Marie said...

You should go to an Aerosmith concert and then have Steve Tyler sign your chest or something.

fiona said...

You should have placed a bet, wonder what the odds would have been?

HBee said...

That totally came out wrong.

Karen said...

Two posts ago you were "Livin' on the Edge".

Coincidence or unhealthy obsession?

Christina_the_wench said...

In the late '80's I stood in rain, sleet, snow and sun for four hours to get a front row seat to the "Permanent Vacation" show at Toledo Sports Arena.

This ranks right up there. *sniff*
Good times.

moooooog35 said...

I'm confused.

Where does interstate penetration come in all of this?

Maxie said...

I'm 99% sure crazy and cryin are the same song.

BloggingJason said...

And here I thought I had taken one too maybe of Koob's face-melting solos to the dome....

Glad to be part of history, buddy.

rs27 said...

I don't get Aerosmith.

By get I mean is Steven Tyler a man or a woman?

lacochran said...

Pittsburgh is pissed. No flower delivery this morning.

Aerosmith rocks! I'm with Alexa... Love in an elavatuh... Damn catchy.

Himbo said...

Nice! I bloody love Aerosmith! Steven Tyler is amazin...

Love, love, love the title "Cramazicryin".

I agree with Alex, Dream On is my fave!

wc#3 said...

During the '90s, Aerosmith was in serious danger of becoming a clone of that Hideos Hit Machine "Starship"

Yech...

Megkathleen said...

Wow, I didn't think it was possible. Is your life complete now?

Angela said...

I was definitely asleep last night at 2:00am in Pittsburgh. The rain made me sleep so soundly, not even Aerosmith could have woken me up.

Douchegirl said...

I actually kinda like Aerosmith. The only thing I don't like is Alicia Silverstone in those videos. Blech. I don't like her at all.

Fizzgig said...

I didn't know Aerosmith had other songs? Ahhh. Kidding. I love those three though. And sometimes, walk this way, and ragdoll. But I pretty much despise them otherwise.

That's probably un-American of me to say.

just a girl... said...

umm I freaking love aerosmith, love them. surviving is hating big time

Jocular Schlemiel said...

Crazy sucks.

You forgot to mention that all three songs came off the same CD "Get a Grip", and the simple fact that the triple crown came from the same CD should mean more than if it were on 3 separate CDs, such as Big Ones, Get A Grip, and Pump.

It's a shame that Livin On the Edge didn't play, otherwise you may have gotten to your destination faster.

Kelly and José said...

I'm just glad you were able to keep each other awake during the drive home :)

And, as much as Jose and I don't like admitting it -- we actually enjoy the city that is Pittsburgh*

-Kelly

matt said...

I love me some 90s Aerosmith. Often, I am alone on that ride. Glad to see discussion at least, of my beloved 90s Aerosmith, which otherwise makes me feel shame for liking it.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

... marry me?