I don't worry about much in life - as long as I am happy, healthy and have sweet hair I consider life a win.
But I also realize I can't just focus on the right now - when I leave this world, I want to give everyone something to remember me by -
A pretty corpse.
That may seem a bit morbid - but wait until you see me; I'm going to look like a dead Brad Pitt.
When I kick the bucket, I want to look fabulous. I want any girls that turned me down for dates to walk out of my funeral thinking "Damnit - I could have totally nailed that dude - now I'll never have the chance." I want people to walk away going, "I don't mean to seem insensitive, but did Narm use a new shampoo?"
Oh how I'll laugh.
In fact, this desire leads most of my life. I live life to the fullest - but within reason.
Do I want to go skydiving? Hell no! How am I am going to show that girl that turned me down for prom that I was a catch if I am flat?
Same goes for bullriding - yes I will look like a badass for a few minutes but who wants to look my mom in the eye and say, "He looks so peaceful" if I am turned into a huge pile of goo?
No, I have to protect this real estate. God only gave me so much to work with and I'll be DAMNED if I'm not taking it with me.
So to live on the edge, I am going to continue to push my body to the limits of alcohol consumption, test my innards with daily Chipotle intake and, despite Momina Nomina's best efforts, refuse to wear a coat even when it is chilly outside.
Because I'm totally going to kill at my funeral.