Owning a house is the hardest hit to my manhood since I played the clarinet (if you are new here I will give you a minute to laugh at that fact).
I am trying to choose colors to paint each room and am forced to have arguments with the Lady Friend that end in me screaming things like, "GODDAMNIT I WANT RED ROSE BOUQUET!"
A man should never scream the word "bouquet". My testies actually started crawling up inside me out of embarrassment.
While scouring the aisles of Marshalls this weekend, I was actually BANNED from using the words "accent color". Which is unfortunate because those towels would have looked FAAAABULOUS in the kitchen.
And as if that isn't bad enough, ask me what color I am painting my bathroom. I dare you. Ask me.
Who the hell is naming these things? Can't we get a line of men's paint?
I want my room to be "Raw Meat Red".
My kitchen could be "Bacon Brown".
The dining room is "Grass Stain Green" with accent colors of "Bruised Knee Blue".
I want "You're My Boy, Blue" for the guest room.
And the basement walls could be "Halle Berry Brown".
But for the living room, I definitely want "Purple Twilight".
What? It looks GREAT with the "Red Rose Bouquet" accent color.