Monday, September 28, 2009

The Good Book

First off just wanted to say it was great meeting Maxie and Lemmonex. While I missed out on most of the weekend shenanigans I did get to see the warm up to what I'm sure was a pretty amazing dance party. All it takes is those two and Alexa on her deck and it is already the coolest club in Cleveland.



Lets not pretend that status updates on Facebook aren't contests to see who can get the most comments. When you sign on and the Good Book tells you there are 6 notifications it is like Christmas - only better because you don't have to wear pants.

But what drives me crazy is when you read some ridiculously boring status like, "UGH! Sick again!" and it gets 42 comments. What the hell! Where is the drama? The passion? Where is the protagonist and the hero? You have 140 characters - do something with them!

"Dropping the kids off at school then time for laundry!" You are telling me that is worthy of 72 comments? I've read street signs more interesting than that.

"It's Friday!" Well, at least this is informative - though changing your screen name to "Captain Fucking Obvious" might help me to alleviate any confusion.

And so Facebook created the Hide feature. With the Hide feature my Facebook has now turned into "Facebook Survivor".

You took a quiz to find out which Sex and the City character you would be? You are now voted off my news feed.

Oh how cute, you tagged a picture about your friends with who is the Funny One or the Angry one. Pack your bags - you are gone.

In fact, I love hiding people so much I have my news feed down to only the best updates.

Mine.

Wait. What's this? This joker wants me to read his blog? I've got news for you, Mr Narm -

You are hidden.

16 comments:

Lemmonex said...

I don't get the eholw funny/angry/princess friend thing. I don't want to know what people think of me.

Also so nice meeting you. We hope we didn't leave your fair city in shambles.

shine said...

Even more awesome than hiding? BLOCKING.

Also, I avoid this by only logging into facebook once a month or so and only really bothering to look at my own profile.

Ed Adams said...

I agree. If I wanted to know that your dog just threw up, or the kids are home sick today, I would have subscribed to your Twitter feed. Respect the Book! Don't post boring, mundane, normal shit.

Marie said...

AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.

Another one that gets five billion comment is "just vacuumed." I don't effing care if you just vacuumed but somehow you get comments for this?!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

The "hide" feature on FB was the best invention ever. Well, the best invention next to peanut butter...

LBluca77 said...

I'm so with you on this. I did a post about it awhile back about the ridiculous stuff update on their status. But I think the one that I hate the most is "so busy" Uh if you are that busy then why are you on FB? Obviously you have plenty of time on your hands. But the hide feature has made FB much more tolerable.

LiLu said...

My favorite is when people announce what they're eating for lunch.

I've blocked for less than that.

P.S. I hate you for being awesome and I was not in Cleveland to meet you and also because you're not coming to my wedding in October.

xoxo

TheGuy said...

my notifications are always just Farmville...

moooooog35 said...

I never get any comments on anything.

Ever.

I should probably sign up for Facebook.

badmuthafudruckers said...

I think this phenomena has led to my uptick in hate. People who I haven't seen in 9 years are now on my hate list for making me read inane "i <3 my hubby!" status updates.

This is compounded by logging onto facebook infrequently and being confronted with the backlog.

So yeah, now I have hate in my heart for half of my high school graduating class. Yay CO 2000!

Jen said...

I must look into this "hidden" feature on the Facial Book...beats de-friending people...

Fizzgig said...

i hide the stupid things like mafia wars, and farmtown (both of which of course, I also play) and i play those dumb quizzes too but I know you can hide them if you want.

it gives me something to do when im bored i take other peoples quizzes.

The most comments on my page was a friend, who posted pics of kittens. 72 comments.

kittens, will get you every time!

A said...

Whilst I try to stay away from boring and "normal", my shenanigans at the strip club seem a little too much for the mass populous. Hmmm...shall I start making shit up?
What kind of status report is Narm worthy? "Enthrall me with your acumen." :)

Andhari said...

Facebook drives me crazy a lot these days. Yes, the obvious statuses are bad enough but the tmi statuses are just worse. A lot of people writing status about their sadness and too detailed angry words about their relationship just drive me nuts. I don't need to know what is their broken heart song of the day, causing by what their bfs or gfs did. Yuck!

Maxie said...

It was so good meeting you.

But are you trying to tell me you don't enjoy my farmville updates?

Chris Allin said...

I have one question.

Does posting a link to this entry on facebook count as an interesting enough status to warrant your approval?