Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sports!



Ouch. I am still suffering from the Dolphins' loss last night so here is what I am asking - please leave the best joke you know in the comments to soften my murderous rage. Maybe we can work this thing down to just an "assault and battery rage" or even a "light petting rage". Don't get in my way if you don't want to get to second base!

CATCH THE DAMN BALL TEDDY!

19 comments:

Matt said...

Do you follow Bill Simmons on twitter? He pretty much described my exact thoughts during the game last night.

Im sorry for your fantasy loss too. That was kind of a double stinger.

moooooog35 said...

YOU'RE UPSET?!?

Hey...at least YOUR team is SUPPOSED to lose games.

Think about how I feel with the Patriots right now. ONE LOSS?!?

UNACCEPTABLE!!

Fizzgig said...

i miss jokes. it seems like people dont tell them anymore. "have you heard the one about the guy....."

Now we just get bombarded with stupid email forwards. Yawn.

Anonymous said...

A foul, very foul and inappropriate joke for you:

Q: What's the difference between a priest and acne?

A: Acne waits until you've hit puberty to come on your face.

justjp said...

Okay, I have a joke for you... The Dolphins. See funny.

Sorry for your loss.

Ed Adams said...

There's Nothing to be sad about. COLTS WIN! Oh, wait. You're a Fins Fan. Now that's funny! Go ahead. End your suffering now.


Go Colts!

Just A Girl said...

I HAD a joke until I read JP's comment, when I died laughing. Dead people tell no tales. Or jokes.

If it makes you feel any better, the Broncos are winning but everyone is like "Why the fuck is that happening?" We're all just waiting to lose...

M said...

I think it's pretty funny that "event" is misspelled on that ecard...

lacochran said...

What do you call an exploding monkey?

A ba-BOOM!

Mike said...

When's the last time you visited the Darwin Awards site? That always makes me feel better.

Wv: weadism - The worship of weeds.

Anonymous said...

I just have to say a few things...

Total Plays Miami-84. Indy- 35

Time of Possession Miami 45:07, Indy 14:53

Unbelievable!

Those stats are a joke! Ha

zwinggi said...

a red head, a horse, and a rabbi walk into bar. bartender says, "fuck you narm for even reading this. take your hootie cd and cry by yourself tonight."

Braddy Hanfy Whanfy said...

Narm, I know your feelings on this game and on sports in general. I am a Notre Dame fan and I still want to bomb small buildings and push little kids off of their bikes when I think about the Michigan game two Saturdays ago.

Andhari said...

So I really try to understand how guys feel when their favorite teams lost, I can only imagine it feels just like how i feel when my favorite models get eliminated in ANTM. Similar, no? Let's drink up to that!

Skippy said...

This one cracks me up:


Jack comes home from school with a great big smile on his face. His mom asks him, "Why are you so happy?"

Jack replies, "I just had sex today!"

Well this does not sit well with mom, she immediately begins shouting at Jack, telling him at 14he has no business having sex! She tells him to go to his room and to wait for his dad to come home. When dad finally arrives, mom fills him in. She asks him to go upstairs and to have a chat with Jack.

He knocks on the door and proceeds to go in.

"Hey Jack, your mom tells me you had sex today?"

"Yes," replies Jack sadly.

Dad looks around the room, high fives Jack and whispers to him, "Hey, way to go, son! Your Dad is very, very proud. But if your mom asks what we talked about, just tell her it was guy stuff."

The next day, dad shares the news with all his coworkers, bragging that at the age of 14, his son is a man!

When dad goes home that night, he kisses his wife and runs straight upstairs to see Jack. "Hey Jack! Did you have sex today again, son?"

Jack replies "No dad, ...my ass still hurts from yesterday."

LiLu said...

If this doesn't cheer you up, nothing will.

Mel said...

Do you think that you would've caught the ball?

Jez said...

The fact that you have a Notre Dame fan AND a Patriots fan on here crying about how their teams lost should make you feel fucking great. I know it does it for me.

Guy walks into a bar and sees a gorilla with his head down on the bar. The bartender and the gorilla are the only beings in the place.

Guy asks the bartender, "What's with the gorilla?" Bartender says, "Watch, this is great!"

Bartender picks up a two-by-four and smacks the gorilla in his big gorilla forehead. Gorilla looks up, shocked, looks around, and jumps over the bar, pulls the bartenders pants down and sucks his cock. Jumps back over the bar, and puts his head down, back to the same position the guy saw him when he first walked in.

Guy says, "Wow."
Bartender says, "Pretty amazing, huh? You want some?"
Guy says, "Yeah, but don't hit me so hard."

Organic Meatbag said...

Hey, I can totally sympathize...I'm a fucking Rams fan...