Why is it when an athlete practices everyday for six hours he is considered extremely dedicated and a superstar - but when I spend nine hours a day putting the sex in Excel I am considered a nerd. I could play a game all day too if you were paying me millions. Instead I make love to spreadsheets and shop at Aldi.
One summer in college I was living alone and bored so I picked up smoking as a hobby. I didn't half-ass it either, I smoked Marlboro Reds and it lasted like nine months. Looking back, that was a pretty dumb idea.
I was happy to discover this past weekend that I am not crazy. A few friends admitted that they suffer from the same problem: whenever I get in a fight in my dreams, my punches do absolutely no damage. Like they are underwater punches. I've gotten in enough fights in my life to know my punches aren't THAT slow - I swing with at least the intensity of a 7 yr old...girl.
Someone asked me the other day what I was doing for Valentine's Day and I went into a big story about how a bunch of my buddies were coming up and we were going to a concert. After seeing her reaction to me spending Valentine's Day with a group of dudes, I think from here out I'll just tell people I am spending it alone.
I love birthdays but after awhile they get old. (Get it? Lay off - its been a long week.)
2 comments:
I think we also discovered that we all fly as if we are swimming? Oh, and I'm Molly, and I'd like the spinach arthichoke dip, please.
What's wrong with a concert on Valentine's Day?? Absolutely nothing.
Don't worry. We'll make sure you have that burning, itchy feeling the day after Valentine's, just like usual.
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