My hatred of Christmas is well documented (I'll get you Christmas! (I was shaking my fist and making menacing, squinty eyes right there)). So I have decided it is about time to say which holidays I DO enjoy. Since you are on the edge of your seat I'll dive right it...
1. Thanksgiving. Football, food, naps and drinking. If I was allowed to wear sweatpants it would be a holiday bingo.
2. 4th of July. Or as Will Smith calls it, Independence Day. Yeah Will, you show those aliens. What is up with Will Smith and movies about strange creatures? He is constantly fighting aliens (Independence Day, Men In Black), robots (iRobot), zombie / vampires (I Am Legend), and money (Pursuit of Happiness). Are casting directors like, "Aaaah we have all these strange creatures but we really could use a cheesy rapper to fight them...I GOT IT!" Meanwhile, Snow sits at home PISSED.
Anyways I like the 4th of July because it mixes booze and fireworks with hilarious consequences.
3. Draft Day. Not a holiday? Fuck you. The NFL Draft is sacred among the hearts of men across this country. Do you find it odd that I can tell you how big some d-lineman from Arkansas' biceps are? Well your shirt is ugly, so there.
4. St. Patty's Day. Am I Irish? No. But I am American - and nothing is more American than commercializing customs from other countries. It is also hard not to rally around a holiday that encourages day-drinking and beard-growing; two of my favorite hobbies.
5. Christmas. I guess I will put it on the list. Christmas Day IS hard to beat. Now that I have nephews I have to admit seeing them open presents and get excited is fun. Watching my parents go to extraordinary lengths to get gifts and argue over whether they should eat the entire cookie my nephew left out for Santa or just take a big bite out of it is also quite amusing.
So there you have it. I would say we are two, maybe three years from my birthday becoming a national holiday, at which point it will be seated directly below Thanksgiving - bumping Christmas from the list completely.
Until that day arrives this is my list - I'm interested to see how others feel (hint, hint).