Monday, February 11, 2008
Wedding My Pants
It is getting close to wedding season - and though this year isn't too crazy (I think I only have 3-4) it is still scary as all hell.
My friends are getting married? I still think of them drunk, passed out and pantless; now they are doing that whole marriage thing? Don't they know thats where babies come from?
I think of myself as one of my more responsible, grown up people in my circle of friends - but marriage? The last time I had a relationship last over 3 months we all thought Christina Aquilera was going to be the slutty one. There was a time that the word commitment was scarier than running into Rosie O'Donnell in a dark alley. But I guess I am getting to that age. The age where every single member of my family feels the need to ask when me if I am going to bring a girl home for the holidays. That means I not only need to meet a girl - but get her hooked enough that she won't bolt when she meets my family. Don't hold your breath, Aunt Mildred.
I know part of it is that I am from a small town and people get married a lot younger (and to their sister - har har). Back home there are only so many fish in the sea (and by sea I mean, "moderately sized aquarium"). People meet and marry a lot younger - while here in ClEVILand we have other things to focus on; like careers and rent payments and being in the top 5 in crime, alcoholism and suicide (Go Team!).
It isn't even that I am scared of marriage - I actually look forward to it. "The Game" got old awhile ago and settling down wouldn't be that hard for me. I think it is being lapped by my friends in a race to responsibility. Suddenly I'm not the one who has his shit together - I'm the one who everyone is trying to hook up with this, "really nice girl and she's sooooooo cute - you would LOVE her!". How did I become that guy? Do I have a sign on my head that says, "Need Dates". Isn't scalping illegal in Ohio?
In the end I am actually excited for most of the weddings. Living this far from home makes it hard to see my old friends very often - so getting us all dressed up around an open bar(n) is a welcome experience. It may be the end of an era, a very immature and hazy era, but I might as well enjoy the ride (and by ride, I mean free drinks).
If any of these assholes start having babies, though, I'm going to put my foot down.