I have long been searching for a motto to live my life by.
In high school it was, "Not in the face!"
In college it was, "She's not THAT fat!"
But these left me empty inside; searching for something that had more meaning and wondering why it burned when I peed.
I needed more guidance in my life - I needed to find something I could believe in.
Well, I believe in frosting.
I've decided that from now on - anything written in frosting must be true (with the caveat that I get to eat said frosting).
"Happy Birthday Frank" Happy, indeed - any event with frosting is a happy one.
"Sorry About Your Loss" I am sorry - you used to have a full cake and now I am eating most of it. Talk about a loss.
"We're Going To Miss You, Clarice" Hmmm - who is Clarice? Apparently her presence brought me cake; now that she is leaving there will be no cake - so yes, yes I will miss you Clarice...anyone know if she is hot? That cake has fantastic, punctuation by the way.
Of course, this new belief does have it's downside -
Hey! I'm not old!
Can I have a corner piece?