Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Frost / Lickins

I have long been searching for a motto to live my life by.

In high school it was, "Not in the face!"

In college it was, "She's not THAT fat!"

But these left me empty inside; searching for something that had more meaning and wondering why it burned when I peed.

I needed more guidance in my life - I needed to find something I could believe in.

Well, I believe in frosting.

I've decided that from now on - anything written in frosting must be true (with the caveat that I get to eat said frosting).

"Happy Birthday Frank" Happy, indeed - any event with frosting is a happy one.

"Sorry About Your Loss" I am sorry - you used to have a full cake and now I am eating most of it. Talk about a loss.

"We're Going To Miss You, Clarice" Hmmm - who is Clarice? Apparently her presence brought me cake; now that she is leaving there will be no cake - so yes, yes I will miss you Clarice...anyone know if she is hot? That cake has fantastic, punctuation by the way.

Of course, this new belief does have it's downside -

Hey! I'm not old!

Can I have a corner piece?


Kristen said...

Wouldn't it be cool to open a bakery that decorates cakes with stuff on it like you find on some eecards?

"We don't really care it's your birthday we just wanted some frosting"

Or something much funnier than that...

Deutlich said...

You. Are. SO. Special.

Kali said...

You know, I had a dream I was frowsting a cake last night. It took HOURS. Literally.

It must be a sign.

LBluca77 said...

Frosting out of a can is one of life's greatest pleasures.

moooooog35 said...

Don't you mean 'glazing?'

Kellie said...

Mmmm...penis cake. My favorite! :)

fiona said...

I'm with Kristen, I see a great future for "Say it with Frosting"
Send one today to the a'hole in your life!
How to sweetly offend those you hate!
Yep I see it...
Oh and I've written a poem about ya ;)

Giggle Pixie said...

I believe in chocolate...in all its variations.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

did you just admit to having a small penis on the WWW?


you are special.

Matt said...

Am I the only one who said Clarice outloud in Hannibals voice?

rs27 said...

Does that say Penis or Pen is?

Ver important.

the pen is mightier.

surviving myself said...

My Dad got that for me for my birthday this year.

I thought it was a tad inappropriate.

TishTash said...

This rocks. I'm going to start sending out "I'm leaving you" cakes instead of letters or text messages.

Christina_the_wench said...

The truth shall set you free, narm.

Now free me up a corner piece too, teeny wienie.

stealthnerd said...

I'm not bragging or anything, but just know that I got 4 birthday cakes this year. That's 4 times the frosting goodness.

Oh...and 2 of those cakes were funfetti. You know, where the sprinkles are mixed right in. Aww yeaaaaah.

c.watson said...

Just quickly eat the small. Then it's just a random declarative statement: You're old and you have a penis. See thats not so bad.

Anonymous said...

That was Elvis's philosophy as well

So@24 said...

My friends get me that exact cake every year.

And every year it never gets old.

For them.


Marie said...

Did you get this for your birthday?

Chocobo said...

Try "That doesn't go there."

It seems to work in almost any situation.

Lauren said...

I got my friend a "Happy Divorce!" cake once. The lady at the cake place just nodded and said "yeah, we get orders for these a lot."