The Setting - Chipotle on a cold, windy winter's day
The Characters - Myself, a strapping, charming, witty, punctual man of 25 and another guy who was probably like 30 or something. I don't know, I'm not a mathematician.
Me - "I can't wait to eat some delicious burrito and then spend the rest of my afternoon in the bathroom."
Guy - "Ha - yeah I'm going for extra beans and hot sauce."
Me - "That is like a death wish - your bathroom is going to smell like a Nickelback song."
Guy - "Ha - yeah, I love Nickelback, too."
Wait - WHAT? I just compared Nickelback to your assplosion and you think I was complimenting them? I thought I was actually insulting your bowel movement by comparing it to Nickelback. How could you possibly take me comparing your weapon of ass destruction to a band as me being a fan? Since when is feces the standard unit of measurement for awesomeness?
"Dude! Did you see the new Batman? It was a total shitter, man."
Conclusion - I haven't slept in three days because some guy in the Chipotle line thinks I am a Nickelback fan.