Monday, January 5, 2009

Heartbreak

There are two things girls will never understand -


1 - What it feels like to get hit in your boy parts. It is kind of like eating White Castle – full of tears, vomit and immediate regret. Also sounds like my prom night.


2 - What it feels like when your favorite sports team loses.


If I were to do a High Fidelity countdown of worst breakups, at least three of them would involve sports teams. A fourth would be when they cancelled Ed. I miss you, Carol Vessey.


Before yesterday, the most recent breakup was when my beloved Cleveland Indians were up 3-1 on the Boston Red Sox and fell apart faster than the Challenger. Boston went on to win the World Series and I went on to rehab. It took me months to get over it. I still have trouble talking about and even had a period where I pretend it never happened. I just wiped that entire season out of my head like so many nights in college after a few too many Natty Lights.


That was my biggest hearthbreak before yesterday - when my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins, completely shit the bed against the Baltimore Ravens.


Before the game my brother and I said, "I don't care if we lose, but let's make it respectable."


Whoops.


So here I am today - holding back tears and listening to Dashboard Confessional. Another heartbreak. Another 8 months of offseason. Another Super Bowl spent drinking way too much and talking about "next year".


Because there is always "next year" in sports. Always another year to be disappointed. Always another year to tell your friends to "watch out" and that your team is a "sleeper" and that even though we lost 27-9 it was "much closer than the score".


In sports, there is always "next year" - but there will never be another Ed.

34 comments:

Ben said...

...sports?

Christina_the_wench said...

The Dolphins? What the hell is wrong with you? You're from Ohio. Do you at least follow my Buckeyes? If not, I gotta delete you from my favorites. I just can't have that.

Melange said...

I beg to differ in regards to the girls not understanding a favorite sports team losing. My rocky love affair with the Cleveland Cavaliers has had me crying in my Cheerios many a times. Namely those fateful days in June of 2007 and May of 2008. I mourned for weeks, black veil and all.

Marie said...

You forgot to mention the Cavaliers lost to the Wizards yesterday. Yes, the WIZARDS! That's almost like losing to the Knicks these days!

I just brutally burned one of my favorite teams (Wizards that is).

Hammen said...

The cancellation of Ed was the biggest travesty in the history of television. No exaggeration. The fact that they haven't put seasons of Ed on DVD yet is the biggest travesty in the history of TV shows on DVD. No exaggeration.

Greatest show ever. No exaggeration.

Marie said...

Oh ya, and girls like sports too.

LBluca77 said...

Red Sox?? Who are they? UM only the best team ever!

Ashley said...

As a girl, I have two things to say about this post -

1. As an avid sports fan, I take personal offense. There are some of us out there, who do understand thankyouverymuch.

-and-

2. That's what you get for being a Miami fan.

moooooog35 said...

"It took me months to get over it. I still have trouble talking about and even had a period where I pretend it never happened."

You had a period?

However, I then read that you're a Dolphin's fan.

So this all makes sense now.

Viva la Matt Cassell!

Bryan Biggs said...

I understand your a dolphins fan. You grew up in the era of Marino, but those are over. Let's admit that no team should ever relay on a quarterback who has won two "comeback player of the year awards" as well as a running back who hadn't played in some time. Ed will never come back but at least Parcells will. I am a die hard cub fan, sadly I know your pain. However if Brady never got hurt I don't think you would have had a berth so take it with a grain of salt.

surviving myself said...

Fucking Ravens. You guys need someone who can pass against tough defenses when the playoffs come around - someone with a stronger arm.

Idiosynkrasia said...

I cried for 2 weeks when the Detroit Red Wings knocked the Dallas Stars out of the Stanley Cup finals last summer (in game 6). And when my boyfriend (a Pittsburgh Penguins fan) suggested that Dallas had been playing like shit...well our relationship nearly ended. Oh I understand what it's like when your fav sports team looses...you bet your ass I understand.

Deutlich said...

I'm pretty sure I disagree with #2

rs27 said...

Hootie had it right.

the Dolphins make me cry.

Well not ME, but you, because I'm a man and only cry during series finales such as Will and ..

I've said too much.

Jenn said...

This makes me think of the game between the Bears and Packers earlier this season. The Bears lost 31-3. Oh how it hurt.

Still does :(

Bon Don said...

I think you are right, I don't really understand #1... and #2 from the looks of my Hubby after his teams loses, I just leave the house and let him drink away his sorrows.

longredcape said...

Our Falcons really shitted it up, too.

Angela said...

You're tellin ME I don't know what it feels like to have my favorite team lose? Yes, yes I DO know what that feels like.

But that doesn't mean I won't make fun of YOUR team losing! :P

Matt said...

Dude.

I know.

We lost 52-21 to the biggest dickhead fans in professional sports.

c.watson said...

the challenger reference ... too soon.

fiona said...

Awww ya big baby!
* offers shoulder to cry on *

Sarah said...

hi...can you say 0-16? i have no pity for you!

Sustaino - said...

I'm originally from Miami, Fl. I know exactly what you are going through... (ugh!)

Sustaino

Megkathleen said...

I have to take offense to this post because believe you me I KNOW what it feels like when you favorite sports team loses - I'm a Washington State Cougar for god's sake and that may mean nothing to you, but I assure you Cougs know heartbreak. Oh, and I was pretty much in love with Ed. IN LOVE. And Mike.

Maxie said...

At least the ravens have lame colors... oh wait. I forgot the other team was the dolphins. My bad.

TishTash said...

I have no opinions on sports, but I love High Fidelity. So Go Team?

sellhisshit said...

Ok, well, I am from Ohio so I am pretty sure I know that heart break feeling. Matter of fact, I am feeling it right now after MY Bucks lost to TX.
I may not know what it feels like to get kicked in the balls, but I DO know what it feels like when your team doesn't win.

sellhisshit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HG @ making lemonade said...

it seems like the women have been heard on this one! i agree with melange and marie and ashley and deutlich and...

well i think you get the idea.

holler, etc.

pj said...

Seems you have some splannin to do for the dolphins.

Cal said...

I am a Vikings fan...and you think I don't know what hearbreak is? I've had a lifetime full of it!

Himbo said...

Aahahahaha... now I get the Justin Long mention on one of the early "Wouldya Wednesdays"!

My dad's company flew him out to Florida for Super Bowl XXIX.

-Himbo

justjp said...

I totally feel your pain. Hopefully, the Gators will bring the pride back to Florida. Go Gators!

Lauren said...

Yeah, see, I still don't get the heartbreak over sports. I went to a football loving college and still didn't care. The boy though? Oh man. I try the whole "hey, your soccer team tied. Better than losing!" No. No it's not better than losing. It's just as bad, if not worse.

I'll never get it.