Heartbreak

There are two things girls will never understand -

1 - What it feels like to get hit in your boy parts. It is kind of like eating White Castle – full of tears, vomit and immediate regret. Also sounds like my prom night.

2 - What it feels like when your favorite sports team loses.

If I were to do a High Fidelity countdown of worst breakups, at least three of them would involve sports teams. A fourth would be when they cancelled Ed. I miss you, Carol Vessey.

Before yesterday, the most recent breakup was when my beloved Cleveland Indians were up 3-1 on the Boston Red Sox and fell apart faster than the Challenger. Boston went on to win the World Series and I went on to rehab. It took me months to get over it. I still have trouble talking about and even had a period where I pretend it never happened. I just wiped that entire season out of my head like so many nights in college after a few too many Natty Lights.

That was my biggest hearthbreak before yesterday - when my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins, completely shit the bed against the Baltimore Ravens.

Before the game my brother and I said, "I don't care if we lose, but let's make it respectable."

Whoops.

So here I am today - holding back tears and listening to Dashboard Confessional. Another heartbreak. Another 8 months of offseason. Another Super Bowl spent drinking way too much and talking about "next year".

Because there is always "next year" in sports. Always another year to be disappointed. Always another year to tell your friends to "watch out" and that your team is a "sleeper" and that even though we lost 27-9 it was "much closer than the score".

In sports, there is always "next year" - but there will never be another Ed.