"It's nice to be remembered, but it's far cheaper to be forgotten."
Um...Hi...Fortune cookie guy? I think you messed up. This fortune? Yeah I know who this was supposed to go to - every girl who has found me 12 beers deep and with an open bar tab. Three Jager bombs later I'm talking to the mirror and she's letting her cleavage convince the next sucker that tequila would be a good decision.
I wish I had boobs. It might be awkward at first but I think getting free drinks and no more speeding tickets would balance it out.