Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Top 5 Candy Bars

1. Reece's Peanut Butter Cups - Is there any debate? Sure they lose points because they are gone in two bites - but those two bites are better than that time that girl was trying to squeeze past me in an airplane and I accidentally touched her boob. Come to think of it, Reece's Peanut Butter Cups are a lot like boobs...only better. You can have your D-Cups - give me some P-Cups.

2. Snickers - While not as tastetacular as the P-Cups above, the Snickers provide the most bang for your buck. They are the thrifty choice for your penny-pinching candy eaters. Bonus points for great commercials that bring joy to the world...to the world.



3. Kit-Kat - The Kit-Kat lost points for lack of belly satisfaction. If I had a never-ending supply of Kit-Kats they would definitely beat out the Snickers - but if I have a dollar and I'm standing in line at the grocery store needing a sugar fix it just doesn't satisfy my fat kid needs - don't judge me, Reader - give me a break.

4. 3 Musketeers - I had planned on including 3 Musketeers for the fact that it contained nougat. And the word nougat is hilarious. Say it - nougat. I picture a candy bar version of Ted Nugent playing a tiny guitar. Ted Nougat would rock. Ok back on topic - Wiki told me that the 3 Musketeer does not actually contain nougat so now it makes the list because it has a shiny wrapper and I like shiny things.

5. M&M's - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands? More like Melts my heart, not in my hands. Ok, not really - M&M's are good - but I'm not going to shank a homeless guy if I see him with a bag like I would the P-Cups. When you are sitting in front of the vending machine at work and you need something that is going to last longer than Miley Cyrus' career M&M's are the way to go.

I realize I am going to get ripped apart for not including Butterfingers but I gotta say - they just don't do it for me. They get stuck in my teeth and just don't give me the warm, fatty goodness of the others on the list. Also - I know M&M's are not technically a candy BAR - but I choose to not be prejudice and allow all chocolate candies live together in perfect harmony.

You know the drill - lets hear your top 5. The only rule is that it must contain chocolate.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. Payday
2. Twix
3. Snickers
4. 100 Grand Bar
5. Reese's

Excuse me, I have to the local market now and get my sugar fix taken care of.

Damn it.

Anonymous said...

1. Reese's Pieces - the same concept as M&M's, but with peanut butter. Mmmm.
2. Mounds - DARK chocolate and coconut. What a combo!
3. Hershey's chocolate with almonds - 'nuff said.
4. Take 5 - FIVE ingredients, including pretzels. OMG, mouth orgasm!
5. Moon Pies - if they are not a candy bar, they certainly should be. Nuke one in a microwave and you have the best of all God's creations.

Moooooog35 said...

My top 5 includes any candy that would kill someone allergic to peanuts.

The sooner we get rid of these people, the sooner my daughter can take a f*cking cup cake in her lunch.

Lauren said...

I think we were meant to be friends. First off, Peanut Butter Cups are the tops. Easily the most delicious candy out there. Remember those "there's no wrong way to eat a Reece's" commercials? I do. I eat around the edge first, leaving the delicious peanut butter for last. Yeah, i'm a bit weird.

Reason number two? That Snickers commercial is one of my top five favorite commercials of all time. It makes me smile every time. I love it!

Three - My list is remarkably similar. Actually, exactly the same. I wouldn't change it. Well, only to make it Peanut M&Ms for #5, rather than regular.

Good list. I'm off to the supermarket for chocolate.

Ashley said...

You didn't specifiy which kind of M&Ms. Given the wide variety, I think we'd all like to hear your favorite.

1. Take 5 - oh so good. It's like a chocolate covered pretzel on steroids.
2. M&Ms - of the peanut variety
3. 3 Musketeers - when you need something a little lighter
4. 100 Grand - a little crunch with my chocolate is always welcome, so long as it was intended
5.Reese's Pieces - I'm with mel on this one. I like to think they are better than P-cups because they have a candy coating too...mmm...

Maura said...

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
2. Milky Way Midnight (also nougat)
3. Peanut M&M's
4. KitKat
5. Snickers

lacochran said...

1. Peanut M&Ms.
2. Kit Kat.
3. 100 Grand Bar.
4. Rolos.
5. Chocolate Sparkle Rainbows.

Okay that last one doesn't exist but if it did, it would totally be a top seller and on my top 5!

Unknown said...

1) Take 5. Dude it's the best, seriously.

2) Twix

3) Peanut M&M's

4) Reece's Stix - better than the cups.

5) Kit Kat

I think butterfinger is wayyy overrated.

GM said...

1. Snickers
2. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
3. 100 Grand
4. Milky Way
5. Twix


I agree whole heartedly with moooooog35!

Rahul said...

Where are the stupid Nutrigrain people yelling for their bar?

Nutrigrain is not a candy bar, get it out of my face! Ahem.

I agree with this list except I can't eat peanuts, but when I could it was the tops. Wait Lauren just said "the tops"? I demand royalties!

Please keep me away from mooooog for living reasons.

JulieGong said...

1. Reese's
2. Peanut Butter Twix
3. Whatcamacallit (not spelled right but i don't really care)
4. twizzlers
5. Peanut M&M's

Anonymous said...

1. Hershey Bar
2. 3 Musketeer
3. 100 grand
4. Kit Kat
5. Riesen's

too bad i just got 3\$1 McD cookies or I'd go get some mroe delish chocolate.
good list nom!

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

1. take 5 (best EVER)
2. peanut m & m's
3. raisinets
4. snickers
5. reese's peanut butter cup

btw. do you know what nougat is? lol

Emma said...

NOUGAT. It's almost as fun to say as Rhubarb.

1. M&M's-- best when frozen.
2. Kit Kat
3. Milky Way-- also best when frozen.
4. 3 Musketeers
5. Twix

Narm said...

Give Em Hell Harry - Your dentist is going to be pissed

Mel - mouthgasm? me likey

Moooooog35 - run rs27! RUN!

Lauren - have you seen those shirts that say, "There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus"?

-A - My favorite are the peanut M&M's but I think we can all agree there is a time and place for the orginal

Maura - I went through a Milky Way phase back in the 90's. They are definitely delicious

Lacochran - I was going to ask what a rainboy tasted like but then I got a pack of Skittles and remembered.

Surviving Myself - glad you agree on the Butterfinger - screw the Simpsons and their failed attempts to sway my sweet tooth.

Gman - You are teaming up with Moooooog35? rs27! They are multiplying and they are organized.

rs27 - nutrigrain bars aren't even in the same family tree as candy bars.

Julie_Gong - Twizzlers don't have chocolate but I'll let it slide because you had Peanut Butter Twix which I forgot about

Libby Marie - I can't pull out of McDonald's without one of those parfait things so I've never gotten the cookies - I might have to give them a taste

Alexa - I prefer to not know - kind of like what hot dogs are made from

Emma - I might need to make a new list of best frozen candies - Snickers still gets my vote.

Joanna B said...

1. Reese's PB Cups
2. Reese's PB Cups
3. Reese's PB Cups
4. Reese's PB Cups
5. Reese's PB Cups

I can't help it if I like what I like!

jeannine rich said...

well hello there Jeff. you might remember me as a former MU student making frequent visits to a Ken Buckley. so when i still had the good book...facebook that is...i discovered this here blog. it's hilarious, but i must say i like this version of the snickers commercial for the gratuitous close-ups

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5zHKAehukLE

Anonymous said...

Are M&Ms really candy bars?

1. Reese's peanut butter cups (also not a bar)
2. Peanut M&Ms (ditto)
3. Snickers
4. Twix
5. Kit Kat

The Alleged Ringleader said...

I'm ALL OVER Reeses and Kit Kat's. I usually never know what to get so I just get both since neither will satisfy on its own.
BTW I still think you had the best comment to RS27 in his contest.

Anonymous said...

mmm. chocolate.

1. reese's pieces
2. milky way midnight
3. snickers
4. twix
5. 3 musketeers

you gotsta try that milky way midnight if you like dark chocolate!

Amazon said...

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
2. Twix
3. 3 Musketeers
4. Milky Way
5. 100 Grand

Andrew said...

I love that you put M&Ms as a candy bar! I have this argument all the time, I stand to reason that they are. They should not be discriminated. That being said:

1. M&Ms - Regular
2. M&Ms - Peanut Butter
3. M&Ms - Crispy
4. M&Ms - Peanut
5. M&Ms - Mint