If you read this post Santa isn't going to bring you any gifts. This blog is a one way ticket to the "naughty" list.
Anyways lets make this short and sweet - my family is going to show up in a few hours and I'm not sufficiently drunk enough to answer the, "When are you going to have some little ones running around at Christmas?"
Well, Aunt Matilda - based on simple math I'm sure I DO have a few little ones running around - but until I am notified by the courts there is no way they are coming to Christmas. Too illegite to quit, baby!
Back to the important stuff. Like sex and Christmas. We all know the rules to Would Ya Wednesday - I throw up two pictures and you tell me if you would (choose one of the following) A) Slide down their chimney. B) Unwrap their gift under the mistletoe. C) Have intercourse with them.
But use protection - you don't want any little ones running around next Christmas.
Yukon Cornelius - ladies you've been asking for a manly man. This dude licks axes (read that outloud perverts).
Clarice of giving Rudolph a red nose fame -
What? You guy's aren't into animals? You city folk just don't understand the finer things in life.