Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Girl Next Door

The other day I heard some crazy, over-the-top, Harry-Met-Sally, monkey-sex noises going on next door. I mean this was like a cartoon. Bumping and banging and crashing - in my head I imagine it like a Tom and Jerry cartoon where there is just a tornado of dust and limbs and lamps start crashing and suddenly a cat squeals.

But the main noise was a loud girl's voice, panting, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

Dude was hittin' it. I gave him mind knuckles to represent.

Then it ended and I went on with my life. Ok I giggled for a few hours with the roommate and THEN went on with my life.

But the next morning, the most amazing thing happened - we both got in the elevator at the same time.

I didn't know what to do! Do I ask her if she is ok because I heard some noises last night? Do I ask her if her lamp broke because it sounded expensive? Can I ask her not to pray so loud?

But I did what any mature individual would do - I stood in the corner and giggled until she got off the elevator. As soon as she left I called the roommate to explain what happened - in my excited state all I could get out was:

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

His answer?

"That's what she said."

20 comments:

moooooog35 said...

I'm guessing he was five mind-knuckles deep if he was getting that reaction.

LBluca77 said...

I would have high fived her.

Ashley said...

I hear my neighbor all the time. Our bedrooms apparently share a wall. I wish she would move her bed to the opposite wall!

Deutlich said...

I think asking her not to pray so loud would have been perfect.

Oh, the look on her face.. it would've been priceless

Matt said...

You totally should have high fived her.

ANG* said...

this is all kinds of hilarious.

seems like we all have one of these stories.
mine ends with me seeing them out in a bar on friday night and asking his roommate if its him or buddy who has the "crazy monkey sex" above my bedroom.

justjp said...

We call that the preacher man at my house. i.e. "dude, I gave that girl the preacher man last night." Usually followed by "Bro, I know. Totally heard her praying last night. Strong work."

True story.

BTW:Mind Knucles... Already stolen.

Kellie said...

I think you should have said that to her! Her face would have been priceless!

Angela said...

When I was like 12 I heard my neighbors having loud sex. It was dinner time.

I couldn't eat.

wc#3 said...

I'm so glad I live in a Cow Pasture... I only hear Cow's doing it... or sometimes Coyotes. Cottontails do it underground, so they're pretty quiet as neighbors. No, I don't watch!

Fizzgig said...

ha ha ha. While this is funny....it scares me into ever moving. I have a girlfriend that lives next door to me w/her boyfriend. They harass me for this reason.

If I ever move, and strangers giggle behind my back, I'd be mortified.

I like deutlich's comment...that would've been awesome!

fiona said...

I stood in the corner and giggled until she got off the elevator.

Liar, you WINKED at me! lol

Allison M. said...

you gave her a pat on the ass, didn't you?

Ken said...

ummm... WAS SHE HOT??

Lauren said...

Hahahahaha!

That's really all i've got - I laughed a lot though.

Maxie said...

I'm so with Deutlich! NEXT TIME.

Andhari said...

I don't know how you didnt say anything about it, I would have said something snarky enough to make her blush :P

Mike said...

How about something like, "Is my apartment next on your list?"

andrea said...

I think heard a "Zing!" after that. Nice.

Violet said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!! ditto to Deulitch