Pick up a box of tissues and drop your morals - it's time for everyone's favorite game!
WOULD YA WEDNESDAY ON MONDAY - ROMCOM EDITION
Where every story is the same - He's a ______, she's a _______ but somehow they will fall in love and make a sex scene about as exciting as an episode of The View!
Seriously - even boobs can't save these movies anymore. How is it still a surprise?
NO WAY! Even though he's a down and out car salesman with a peg leg and she was a dirty hooker who switched bodies with the Queen of England they still found love? Well slap my ass and pass the tissues how can I miss this movie?
He's a pirate with a sweet tooth and she's a farm animal? How will they make THIS work?
Speaking of farm animals lets introduce our first contestant.
Renee Zellweger has absolutely no redeeming qualities. She looks like she is stuck in an eternal "sucking on a lemon" pose. I heard Keystone Light wanted to use her for their "Bitter Beer Face" campaign. But she scared children. And we all know children are the #1 consumers of Keystone Light. It's a hard knock life, bitch.
I would feel bad for Hugh Grant that he always has to be cast in movies along side her if it weren't for the fact that he was busted with a transvestite. For a dude that is into transvestites, Renee Zellweger has to be a supermodel. A supermodel sucking on a lemon.
Our other contestant is standing, somewhere, in the rain. He probably has a pained look on his face and is listening to a dramatic song (boom box and trench coat optional). Even for all his flaws I can't hate John Cusack. He is one of those bastards that I have no business defending but still find myself saying things like, "C'mon he wasn't bad in Must Love Dogs..." Bastard.
Anyways for those of you new to the game here are the rules - I post two pictures of celebrities and you tell me if your crotch would beat the odds and fall in love with their crotch. Then your girlfriend cries and you have to pretend like you didn't like it when in fact you couldn't wait for them to finally kiss because GAWD! how could they not just realize they were meant for each other!
I've said too much.
Here are your choices -