Monday, May 25, 2009

I Think I'm A Clone Now

Ladies - you don't know how good you have it.

Apparently - there are thousands of Narm's in the world. That means your chances of meeting someone with dashing good looks and spectacular punctuality are actually pretty high.

How do I know this?

Because everywhere I go - SOMEONE has a "friend that looks just like you!!!"

So, through this scientific research, I have come to the conclusion that there are thousands, perhaps millions, of Narms in the world.

So why don't I ever meet them?

Is it some strange Marty McFly situation where if we run into each other we could alter our futures and our pasts and end up never having been born? If everyone has a friend that looks like me - then why don't I have a friend that looks just like me? What I'm asking is why I am not friends with Brad Pitt. We would totally hit it off! Mustaches unite!

How am I supposed to react when someone tells me they have a friend that looks just like me? That is like calling me boring. "Oh, hi, I already know one of you. Next."

My new mission? To get names and addresses of these pseudo-Narms and combine our forces to unleash an army of Narms. A Narmy, if you will.

Who could resist a Narmy of facial hair and bad puns? We would do all the things I've always wanted: detroy Nickelback, play a football game of 11 Narms vs 11 Narms, DOMINATE your Twitter feed, and do one of those synchronized dives into the pool like in the 1950's.

But after awhile all those Narms would get annoying. They would spend all of their time arguing over whether vampires are actually just lame versions of zombies and who would win in a fight between Mike Rowe and the Highlander.

So I guess for now I'll just remain a Narmy of one.


Deutlich said...

a Narmy of one?

That should be your new catch phrase.

Matt said...

I could live with my twitter feed being dominated...

but I draw the line at synchronized swimming.

ANG* said...

you may have twins, but people think i am 17! sorry dudes, you're 10 yrs off. sure i may like that in i dunno another 10 years...but right now its a bit insulting.

JustinS said...

Mike Rowe. No question.

Maxie said...

oh god. you wrote this whole post so you could use "narmy of one" didn't you?

it was worth it.

moooooog35 said...

Narmy of One:

Shittiest XBox game ever.

FYI: my word verification is:



Yeah, probably.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear baby Jesus, a Narmy! That is scary on it's own. Never fear, I hear there is a legion of JP's out there. Now that is scary.

Mel said...

Narmy. Ha!

lacochran said...

All that just so you could say "a Narmy of one"? You just proved, there's only one Narm.

surviving myself said...

Someone needs to use "DOMINATE your Twitter feed" in a pick-up line at the bar.

Rachel said...

LOL! I like to think that this whole topic was centered around the word "narmy."

rs27 said...

"I think I'm a clone now"

Well played.

Well played indeed

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i have the same problem as you and it sucks. i'm original damnit!!

i can't help it that im so relatable.

that and that everyone has at least one funny, loud and chubby friend. just like the movies.

Andhari said...

I cant believe you call yourself Narmy.

But I do agree there will be just one Narm in the history of Narminess.

LiLu said...

I'm pretty sure I got every single pun in there... including the title.

*Starts a slow clap for herself*

Mike said...

Maybe your dad was just a busy guy. HEY, he could have used up all your turns. Maybe that why you don't..... look, the goodyear blimp.

Je said...

Your girlfriend needs a T-shirt that says Narmy of One.