Monday, May 11, 2009

Will Ferrel is the Patron Saint of Awkward Situations

What did guys do before sports?

When a caveman's girlfriend took him over to Mrs. Oohhmaakoooga's cave for "couple's night" and the two girl cavemen (cavewomen doesn't sound right) start talking about the latest in pterodactyl fashion pieces - what the hell did the two cavemen talk about? They couldn't argue how homecourt advantage was going to help their team breeze through the playoffs or how the 3-4 defense is making a comeback. All they had to talk about was how much they missed being single and how they used to club women over the head and drag them to their cave all the time. Now they're lucky if they get to go woolly mammoth hunting twice a year without their girlfriend getting mad.

I enjoy the ability to enter any situation with another guy and have SOMETHING to talk about. I can bullshit my way through almost any sport - except golf, because my GOD is that a boring sport. It is hard to make baseball look exciting but next to golf, a pitcher adjusting his crotch four times before every pitch is the the pinnacle of suspense.

Even when guys completely disagree to the point where they consider the other person to have the intelligence level of a small rodent - they will still talk sports for as long as necessary to get out of whatever situation their girlfriends have placed them.

Double-dates.

Meeting of parents.

Funerals.

Baby showers.

Interventions.

It doesn't matter! Guy's will talk sports. Or Will Ferrell movies. Which I guess is sort of redundant at this point.

And if you aren't a sport's fan it is ok. I am sure there are plenty of other things to talk about!

Just not with me.

14 comments:

Fizzgig said...

teradactyl. i wanted to write it but not look at how you spelled it. anyway, it took me 3 seconds with that word to know it was teradactyl. how did they know to put a pt at the beginning during caveman times?

moooooog35 said...

Wait...

Isn't beating a woman over the head with a club considered sport?

Perhaps I've said too much.

Matt said...

Unless your girlfriends friends boyfriend wears black nail polish...

then you are back where you started. Silence.

lacochran said...

Plus, you can talk sports while you hold her purse at the mall.

surviving myself said...

I seriously question any man who doesn't like sports. There must be something really, very badly wrong with him.

Christina_the_wench said...

Why do men folk look funny at women (like me) who can understand the sports talk? Like we are some strange creature with 5 eyes or something. Quite disturbing.

Maxie said...

I like sports, but I like Will Ferrel movies more. Can we still be friends?

Cecelia said...

I truly envy this. I wish I there was a similar thing I knew something about that would make small-talking with strangers slightly more tolerable. Or maybe I should just learn a bit about sports - I mean, it must be the easiest way to get a guys interest..?!

miss. chief said...

that is too weird, my favorite shoes are made of pterodactyls

f.B said...

I don't get golf and all it's subtlety. For god's sake, you have to whisper to broadcast it on TV. Lame.

Andhari said...

You can talk about will ferell with me..and as for sports, what do you think about shopping?

rs27 said...

Who the hell is Will Ferrel?

Karen said...

What about the girls who love the discussion about Pitino's coaching future and Old School quotes, but hate baby showers?

Seriously, give me Nick Faldo waxing philosophical about sandtraps vs. 3 hours of gushing over baby clothes, any day.

Desert Rat said...

Were you in the gym with me yesterday? If the bar changes a channel it changes in the gym, the other day they had TWO golf shows on and changed the only news station to a kids movie, I told them can you change one of the golf stations... that's worse than watching paint dry!