Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Dolphins Make Me Cry

I have something admit to all of you.

I'm that guy.

I'm the guy that sits at a sports bar, by himself, every Sunday to see his favorite football team's (the Miami Dolphins) game.

And I wear a jersey.

I PAY MONEY to be part of an exclusive Miami Dolphins message board.

I have Miami Dolphin colored stripes running down the sides of my truck.

I hate you, Tom Brady.

I can not only name the entire 53 man roster, but could probably tell you the name of the Assistant Secondary Coach.

I love you, Dan Marino.

When my brother and I speak on the phone, there is a 5 minute window to discuss our lives and his kids before we launch into, and I kid you not, weekly 45 minute discussions about ONLY the Dolphins.

There are and will be not plans made for Sundays during the NFL season. Ever. The Lady Friend understands that I will do anything she asks 6 days a week - but come Sunday - I am off limits.

When Hootie said, "I'm such a baby, yeah, the Dolphins make me cry." I knew EXACTLY what he meant.

Ace Ventura could have just been Jim Carrey making faces at a camera for 2 hours but if the Dolphins were in the background I would still consider it a cinema masterpiece.

When the sign in my office says "Miami Dolphins Fan Parking Only" it means "Miami Dolphins Fan Parking Only, Mother Fucker"

I am that guy.

But most impressive beyond all of that -

I am willing to wear the colors aqua and orange to support my team.

That is devotion.

Go Phins.

18 comments:

Ben said...

I was going to ask why the team is abbreviated to 'phins' but then I realized the alternative would be 'dolls'.

I'd still go with 'dolls'.

Is this thing on? said...

I'll be watchin them alot to with Pat White, be interesting to see how much he gets used

Angela said...

At least you're not saying you love the Browns. THEN we'd have a problem.

Ashley said...

Die hard fans are the best. Through good and bad. These are the best kind of sports fans. Cheers!

mysterg said...

I'm that guy too!

(Although in my case it's proper football - i.e. soccer - and my team is Pompey).

The fortune of my team impacts my own. People know that if we lose, there's no point talking to me for the rest of the day. I bleed blue.

Christina_the_wench said...

They made a Real Men of Genius commerical about you, didn't they? Yet they haven't ran you out of the Pound Town yet. Amazing...

justjp said...

I know and understand your passion. My old neighbor's first and only tattoo, is that of the Phin's logo. Personally, you just described my relationship with the Florida Gators.

Matt said...

Its all about the orange and blue!

zwinggi said...

if chad pennington were to ask you on a man date to go play poker at dan marino's house with dan, mercury morris, don shula, and bernie parmalee, but you had to wear a #12 patriots jersey, would you go?

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

@ben - HAHAHA

oh narm, i love your devotion.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Tom Brady's exquisitely formed ass makes me cry.

moooooog35 said...

Jill took my comment.

Joanna M said...

So how do you feel about Land Shark Stadium? I mean since sharks and dolphins aren't friends in the wild does it really make sense that the home of the dolphins is called land shark?

longredcape said...

"Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?"

"Oh look, they're little footballs!"

"Laces out!"

My boyfriend is "that guy" with University of Florida ANYTHING. He wears blue and orange (rather, orange and blue. he always corrects me on the order in which they should be presented) in support of those mother effing gators. He has a "University of Florida Alumni" car tag and even his RAZOR has a fucking gator on it.

Anonymous said...

To Angela's comment: You will shut it, sister! There's many of us die-hard Brownies out here....

Mike said...

HEY, where's today's post. They won last night. Are you still drunk?!

fussypumkin said...

Holy hell I just got that Hootie lyric!! I always just thought he was into marine life. Your blog, amusing AND educational.

Carina Blogarina said...

Whaaaat?? Shouldn't you bee rooting for the browns??