Wednesday, August 19, 2009

'Snot Right

Why are boogers so gross? I feel like they are being misrepresented.

I mean - we all pick our nose. All of us. I see you in the mornings on your drive to work with your finger jammed up there. We all do it. So we all know what boogers feel like / look like and it shouldn't come as a surprise.

Plus - kids eat em. Check out a kid - I bet you will see him gobble up a booger if you watch him for at least 5 minutes. Kids eat those things like they are Lucky Charms. And I've seen kids try to eat broccoli - it ain't happening. That means boogers have to taste better than broccoli. Fact.

The thing is - I LIKE broccoli - so what am I missing out on by not eating boogers. Maybe social stigma has prevented me from one of the world's greatest treasures. You would be hard pressed to convince me that a hot dog is less gross than a booger. Or calamari, or oysters. I love all that shit - so why can't I love boogers.

You have a choice to make - you can either give in to The Man and continue your life eating whatever the grocery store tells you is ok - or you can join the ranks of the Booger Eaters and live life in a fantastic rainbow journey of flavors.

You pick.

18 comments:

Christina_the_wench said...

Because they'd get stuck in your teeth and that's just not right. Flossing for boogers.

Ew.

And you men quit hacking luggies on the sidewalk too. Nasty....

moooooog35 said...

I misread 'boogers' as 'bloggers.'

Totally adds a whole new dimension to this post.

Idea #527 said...

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Thanks.

Also, I was never a kid who ate their boogers. But I would pick my nose and apparently wipe it on things like the wall or the bottom of the kitchen table.

It's like the anniversary card's I got my parents a few years ago that said:
When you kiss your honey
And your nose if runny,
You may think it's funny,
But it's snot.

Marie said...

In second or first grade there was a girl in my class who would pick her nose and eat it. We just starred at her.

TheGuy said...

If Shel Silverstein taught me anything, it was to refrain from nose-picking. That and not to fake sick on Saturday.

AMANDA said...

Seriously, you just grossed me out so much that I may have to lay down for a bit. The good news is that I won't be able to eat anything today. So thank you for that. Your helping me lose my "quit smoking" weight one post at a time.

Stephanique1 said...

Beacuse if you eat your boogers then you can't flick them.

Also, don't pick your nose while driving on a bumpy road.

Taylor said...

Oh ew! This is like a TMI Thursday on Wednesday.

Kellie said...

You should only pick your nose if you know it is just a small annoying little crusty thing. If it is wet the fingers should stay out of there. Kleenex my dear, kleenex.

I think I just admitted to picking my crusties out. Oh well. The more you know...

Mike said...

Hey, what have you been finding in your new house? Hopefully you haven't just been painting over them.

mysterg said...

"We had joy, we had fun,
Picking bogies in the sun,
When the sun got too hot,
All the bogies turned to snot..."

LiLu said...

I hear they're great with a little paste garnish.

justjp said...

You are wise beyond your years.

BrazenBareToe said...

You know that app papertoss on the iPhone. It's really training for the booger flick.

I'm with Mooog I totally thought it said bloggers at first then you went into eating them and I was all "what?!"

Andhari said...

EWWWWWWW.

Hahahhahah.

Maxie said...

Lets START A MOVEMENT.

Only the crunchy ones though. I can't deal with the slime.

The Peach Tart said...

I saw a news report the other day that stated that it was good to eat boogers. Something to do with them containing properties that boost your immune system. But they have to be your own boogers which confused me since I don't usually eat other people's boogers.

zwinggi said...

i'll rock a booger sandwich.