Wednesday, May 28, 2008

City Folk Just Don't Get It

One of the most common stereotypes I run into when I tell people I grew up as a farmer is that I am some sheltered country boy. One time a guy told me he had to check his stock and I was all like, "Aw hell! What kinda livestock you got? Hogs or cows?"

That didn't really happen.

So this past weekend I went out and got myself some culture. Unfortunately, the culture store was closed - so I looked to my fellow bloggers for inspiration.

Friday night I went to an Indian restaurant to see if all Indian people were as funny as my favorite Indian blogger. This kind of backfired because instead of them being funny - the waitress mostly laughed at my failed attempt to pronounce things on the menu. I recommend the "Umm...this one".

Sunday I made my way to the Greek Heritage festival to honor my favorite Greek blogger and got a little taste of Greek culture. I learned that yelling "Opa!" at any time makes you awesome - and man was I awesome Sunday night.

As mentioned in the last post - Monday was spent at a vegetarian restaurant. Another blogger mentioned the need to defend vegetarians as not all being wusses, and I agree - I think people who don't eat meat could beat me up with the same ease as people who do. I just have ONE question - how do you know when the veggie burger is done on the grill? It doesn't really change colors or dry out or...well...anything?

But it wasn't just this past weekend - I've been away from the country for awhile now and feel like I've gotten a handle on things like hailing cabs and hurdling homeless guys - you know, city stuff. I've learned about crazy new inventions like cell phones, mp3 players and some guy the other day even told me about the "internet". That sounds neat.

So now that I have completely mastered city life in every way, I have to say I am unimpressed. The transition was easy. Now, Cleveland isn't exactly New York or LA, but how hard can it be?

Now I want to see some city kids survive in the country.

Yeah thats right - what if you were stuck on a deserted island with a cow - would you be able to milk that fucker? Or what if you were asked the $64,0000 question and it was about NASCAR? Bet you wish you had a lil country in ya now, don't you, Reader?

Now, I don't want to concern any fellow redneck bloggers - I haven't turned city, yet. I still drive a truck, wear cowboy boots and consider fishing a sport.

But my parents are none too pleased to see me dating outside of the family.

14 comments:

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

And man was I awesome Sunday night... I'll bet!

Lauren said...

Isn't there a new reality dating show called "Farmer wants a wife" or something like that? That could be you!

Living in Orlando is a mini-cultural experience. We have mini-Chinatown, mini-Greekville, and mini-Indianarea. Or something like that. Anyway, I like being exposed to the different cultures...but I more so like being exposed to the different foods. Mmm.

libby marie said...

You know you miss the farm life. what do they say, you can take the boy out of Delphos, but can't take Delphos out of the boy?
I agree 100%.

raych said...

if i was stuck on a deserted island with a cow .... i'd probably just jump on it's back and try to ride it like a horse because i sure as hell wouldn't know what else to do with it.

Deutlich said...

City folk really DON'T get it. While I didn't live on a farm, I did live right next to one.. and we have farmers in the family.

All in all? I don't think I like city life much. Maybe I do, and I'm just tired of it -- but I'd rather be out in the middle of bumfuck.

Seeing cows everywhere makes me happy.

Alexa said...

narm i need to hear more about this lady friend of yours. she keeps getting mentioned, you are doing all sorts of cultured things with her.

your readers demand more information.

and seriously, email me and lets do drinks next week so i can give you your PRIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! harbor inn perhaps or is that too big of a stretch for you ; )

and... thanks for the shout out. OPA!

surviving myself said...

Thanks for the shout out man!

And yeah, there really is no way to tell when a veggie burger is done. All you have to do is make sure it's hot.

I know. It's lame.

-A said...

Thanks for this post! Having grown up in rural Michigan really tuned me in to those things that city folk don't seem to understand: like what the stars look like or what allergies really are. Plus, doesn't every guy want a girl who knows how to ride a dirt bike and enjoys snowmobiling in the winter?

Allie-gator said...

Aww...I aint scared! The city can't take the country outta no one!
AND Y'all is a WORD!


Your last line totally had me thinking about Dave Chapel
"If anyones gonna have sex with my sister its gonna be ME!

rs27 said...

Its worse when you're the indian person at an indian restaraunt and you say, "Yes, one of the number 11 please."

Embarrasing

I am glad I'm your favorite Indian blogger, barely beating out Samir Patel from downtown Edison, NJ about his wonderful basmati rice.

Narm said...

Maiden Metallurgist - Opa! You gotta try this. Opa!

Lauren - yes there is. It stereotypes farmers almost as bad as "It's Amore!" on MTV does to Italians. Almost.

Libby Marie - What happens in Delphos, stays in Delphos. Mainly because it takes so long for it to go anywhere else.

Raych - I'd go crazy because you can't go cow tipping with only one person.

Deutlich - I agree - I seem to miss it more and more everyday. I moved to the city and suddenly everyone was in a hurry.

Alexa - she takes me to museums and Greek festivals - I took her to her first Waffle House. Its an even trade.

DEFINITELY beers next week - I need that shirt!

Surviving Myself - I'll play friendly until you take LeBron - then its war

-a - YES - it is impossible to explain to city kids what the stars are like out there. Also they always ask what I did growing up and I always wander what they did? I was outside muddin or doing SOMETHING - what is there to do in the city to get outside?

Allie-Gator - I lived with a guy from Texas in college and he would punch me everytime I didn't say Y'all - so I do my best to represent here in Ohio.

rs27 - I'd be lying if I said you ran away with it. But in the end your story about getting hit in the chest with a tree put you over the edge.

Rachel said...

Really? I think Cleveland is a lot worse than New York City.

Allison M. said...

You also wear plaid shirts and a beard during some seasons.

I'll need your ass to survive in the country and you need me to survive in the city.

lacochran said...

Ya get ya one o' them veggie thermometers with the thingy that pops out when it's done. I saw it on an infomercial so it must be true.