Monday, May 26, 2008

Happy Beans

I just don't get hippies. I am cool with the "love everyone" stuff, have been known to hug a tree or two (maybe even some heavy petting) and enjoy not showering for days at a time. But there are certain things I just don't get.

Like Happy Beans.

I am a country boy - which means at least one thing on my plate should have been breathing at some point. Dead animals. I eat dead animals. And it is delicious. The lady friend? Not so much. She has a bad case of the vegetarian. She looooves chlorophyll. This being the case, we sometimes struggle to find places we both enjoy to eat.

So Monday morning we awoke after a long night of Busch Light and Mario Kart (classy) and set forth to find breakfast. She recommended a little place around the block and I am allergic to decisions so it sounded perfect to me. Then I opened the menu - the first item?

Happy Beans.

What the hell are happy beans? Don't throw an adjective in front of a boring vegetable to make me eat it. What next? Is someone going to come out of the kitchen and pretend my carrots are an airplane and I need to open the hatch?

Because that would be awesome.


Alexa said...

lemme guess, johnny mango's?!?!

Lauren said...

Happy beans? Really? Yeah, I think I'll pass.

I went to a vegan friendly place that had smiley faces on their menu. I think they were trying to convince me that vegan food is GOOD. I saw past their ploy, though.

Deutlich said...

dude. dead animals all the way

Happy Beans?! WTF is that?

rs27 said...

What about live animals? No? No?

Allie-gator said...

OMG I'm allergic to decisions too!

and beans don't make me so happy. At least not after I eat them.

Julie_Gong said...

I just had some dead animal for lunch. that i killed myself.

that is a lie. i haven't eaten it yet.

BloggingJason said...

Actually, Jhonny Mango's has decent food, even if I feel emasculated everytime I step through the door. :(

Narm said...

Alexa - bingo.

Lauren - don't be fooled by their propaganda. Meat - its what to eat.

Deutlich - Happy Beans = sad belly

rs27 - now thats what I call fast food.


Allie-Gator - but they are the musical food!

Julie Gong - you gotta get after that while it's still warm. Dead animal is never as good warmed up in the microwave.

BloggingJason - I am pretty sure I got death stares for ordering a coke and not a smoothie

surviving myself said...

I'm vegetarian, but I would definetly not eat any damn "happy beans."

Those are the kinds of places that give us a bad rep as wusses and make me have to justify myself by saying, "But I love sports too!" after I tell someone I'm vegetarian.

Matt said...

you are 100% correct.

Dead Animals = Delicious.

Anonymous said...

Next time you go there just get the mojitos instead. I've been known to spend an entire afternoon drinking in that place. Don't need happy beans for that!

Hot Coffee Girl said...

Are you sure the lady friend isn't into chloroform not chlorophyll? I mean, how else could you get her to date you?

Ouch. Kidding. Um...were you around when I (unwillingly) went veg for a few months last year? I watched this video on and couldn't touch dead animals for over a friggin' month.

But I hate beans, happy or no ... so it makes it a little tough to be a veggie gal. Just sayin'.