Thursday, May 22, 2008

Top 5 Video Games of All-Time

1. Contra. One word for you - upupdowndownleftrightleftrightababselectstart. Unlimited lives baby. Oh you don't care about unlimited lives? Now I've got spreads. Dig it.

2. Tecmo Super Bowl. Awesome. You think that toss right to Bo Jackson is going to score? No chance. Lawrence Taylor. And why the hell is Christian Okoye so good in this game? If Christian Okoye were to make his OWN video game he STILL wouldn't have made himself as good as he is in this game. Best sports game ever. And best in between cut-away graphics ever. QUARTERBACK SACK! Scary.

3. Mariokart. (for Super Nintendo - though the Wii version has recently decimated my social life). In college I worked for the campus radio station and challenged the entire Video Game Club to Mariokart and was never close to being beaten. I think that makes me King of the Nerds. I rule my KingKongdom with glazed eyes and sore thumbs.

4. NHL '94. This list is a sham because this is the greatest game of all time - even without fighting (a staple in hockey games). The One-Timer? Money. The Wrap Around? Like having a British accent - almost too easy to score. AND it keeps a checking stat. Tell me something cooler than a stat that tracks how many times I blasted your lil 16 bit Wayne Gretzky against the boards. Give up? Zombie Bears. (How awesome is it that I got bored and Googled 'zombie bears' and actually got 413,000 results.)

5. Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Before Mike Tyson was crazy he made awesome video games. He may or may not have been a boxer as well, I don't know, not my job to follow this guy's hobbies. This game brought us the greatest video game character of all time - Soda Popinski. Fun fact - his name was originally "Vodka Popinski" but was changed before the game was released. They obviously forgot to change his quotes which are gems such as these:

* "I can't drive, so I'm gonna walk all over you!"

* "I'm going to make you feel punch drunk!"

* "I drink to prepare for a fight. Tonight I am very prepared!"

* "After you lose, we'll drink to your health! Ha, ha, ha!"

* "Would you like some punch to drink? Ha, ha, ha!"

Oh, Soda Popinski, you are my favorite drunk children's character.

Honorable Mention: Zelda, Free Cell, the original Mario, Madden and tping 5,318,008 into a calculator and turning it upside-down so it says "BOOBIES".


Anonymous said...



The Maiden Metallurgist said...

Contra code! BTW best charades clue ever, I'm not even kidding.

BloggingJason said...

I'm gonna hadouken all over your list....

Five. Combat
Just because it was my first game.
Four. F-Zero X
It's amazing how much of my life I lost to this game. And a little bit sad.
Three. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater II
Best. Sports. Game. Evar.
Two. Minesweeper
Best time on hard? 83 seconds. Suck one.
One. Goldeneye
Rocket Launchers. Basement. I'm the Moonraker Elite #2, and you're dead alot.

p.s- Mario Kart? Come get some.

surviving myself said...


You know what's funny? I loved Okoye man, him and Bo were the first football players that I thought were awesome.

Long live The Nigerian Nightmare!!


what about Spy Hunter and Excitebike?

Lauren said...

I loved Mario Kart. LOVED IT. Because of that, I've been rather addicted to the new Wii one as well. It's just so fun.

For me, though, I have to put Sonic on that list. I loved the sonic games and, like contra, still remember the codes.

Up down left right A case you're interested.

Claire said...

My brother would always have to get the ultimate lives for me. 1. Because I died so many times and 2. Because I couldn't get them for myself...

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Narm said...

Deutlich - don't worry - I still have my SNES in my apt.

Maiden Metallurgist - why can I remember the contra code but not my social security number?

BloggingJason - GoldenEye was meant to be on the honorable mention list. My apologies.

Surviving Myself - why was Okoye so good? I still don't get it. And my bad on the Excitebike. What about Paperboy?

Lauren - I was always a Nintendo kid so Sonic was never my cup of tea. And Wii Mariokart is one of the Top 5 Best Things To Ever Happen To Me

Claire - no shame in that - a girl playing Contra is still awesome.

rs27 said...

We had to outlaw the wrap around in NHL 94 because of unfair advantages that would cause fist fights

Hartford? the Whale?

GMan said...

I can't really argue with any on that list. I would probably put mario ahead of Mike Tyson but not by much. And I could DEFINITELY have Tecmo Super Bowl at #1.

I actually still have all the nintendo systems and the games to go with them. nes, snes, n64, gamecube, and just got the wii. all are in working condition as well.

Mario Kart for the wii is awesome!

fish0462 said...

Up for honarble mention: Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Paperboy, Metal Gear Solid, excite bike, GTA, NBA Jam

Allison M. said...

Mike Tyson's punch out. Holy shit I loved this game. My cousins were freaking whizzes when it came to that game.