Thursday, January 7, 2010

Heartbreak, Helmets and Ryan Seacrest

I'm heartbroken and depressed. I'm battered and broken - alone and lonely.

Football season is almost over.

Like a summer fling, her parents are taking her back to California for school and after a few awkward post cards and a playoff game or two she'll gone.

"But now you'll have all weekend to do what you want - you aren't glued to the TV!" the Lady Friend says.

Maybe what I WANT is to yell at people on TV because they didn't get the fuck out of bounds to stop the clock.

Maybe I want to scream at the coach that he is an idiot and why the hell would he run a draw on 3rd and 9 - does he WANT the other team to win?

Maybe I want to want to have something to talk about when I am in forced awkward situations with other guys.

Without football I'll have to think up other things to talk about - like the weather or current events.

But the beauty of football is that the very nature of the sport means you get to yell - even when having mild conversations about it.

"Did you see that Colts game?" random guy I don't like will ask.

"I KNOW! Can you BELIEVE that hit? I thought he was dead. Really. I thought he was dead. I didn't think they were going to bring the golf cart out to get him - I thought they would just bring the hearse on the field."

Nope. Now my conversations will go like this -

"Man, some weather, eh?"

"Yeah, crazy. I hate the cold!"


See? I'm already yelling and making a scene and this is my own blog! Imagine what happens when I am at a bar or museum or church!

Football isn't a sport of aggression for the players - it is for the fans. It is like one big game of "my dad can beat up your dad" but we have logos and colors - like a modern day Braveheart.

But now it is all gone. I have to take my aggression out in other places. I have to find other reasons to blindly support someone and yell at others for disagreeing.

Luckily American Idol is coming up.


Moooooog35 said...

I'm with ya.

Soon, we will need to actually listen when our significant other say things to us.

And, really..who needs that shit?

Sarah said...

American Idol?! Dude...try a little hockey. It won't kill you. You can even cheer for the Wings if you like.

saratogajean said...

Go Sanjaya!

Holy shit my capcha is "imsingl"

WTF. I was joking about the whole Sanjaya thing. Jeez.

Burt Black said...


LBluca77 said...

I've decided 2010 is the year Ryan Seacrest comes out of the closet.

Keep you fingers crossed.

Also I don't like football, feel free to yell at me.

Fizzgig said...

i know that im a woman and you are a man and your going to totally disagree with this because you ALL do, but football is never really over.

Id like a detailed report outlining a time period in which football is ever really "over"....its on some channel...all...the...time.

there is is interrupting my tivod programs. making them run late or start early, or not be on at all...

but may i suggest....lost in 4 wks. yesssss

Ed Adams said...

You have the basis here for a country song.

Thankfully, the season isn't over yet, for us Colts fans.

Laurie said...

There is always hockey....and in the spring, baseball.

Nothing like a good fight to get the fan juices pumping...... or someone knocking over a hot dog mascot.

Mike said...

Narm you hosehead. Where's your email? Go to my blog to see today post. Then repost it here. It's your kind of post.

Toe said...

Some how I can't quite picture you in a museum or church. A bar, yes totally.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Just yell out BlITZ - BLITZ in church! Yes? No?

Yeah watch hockey instead or ask another guy, what did you think of Ryan's hair last night?

LiLu said...

Let's just hope there's another Sanjaya. That was just Too. Freaking. EASY.

Karen said...

This is exactly why you should get into college basketball. It bridges the gap between football and baseball.

Maxie said...

I agree with Sarah. Hockey is pretty damn entertaining.

Andrea said...

I'm with the hockey people, though I do enjoy the yelling that comes with football games.