Wednesday, January 20, 2010


I am one lazy bastard.

A lot of nights I stay up late just because I am too lazy to walk all the way upstairs to bed.

I am not afraid to text people who are in other rooms of the house just so I don't have to get up and talk to them.

I pay all my bills late - not because I am too lazy to write the check or go online - but because I am actually too lazy to even open the letter when it comes to my house.

I sleep with the lights on at least once a week because I am too lazy to get up and turn the lights off.

Personal hygiene becomes a battle of endurance as I avoid showering for 2,3...even 4 days.

I hate shaving - why do you think I have a beard?

But even with all that laziness - I still had the energy to donate $10 to Haiti by texting "Haiti" to 90999. It is easier than finding topless pictures of Lindsay Lohan - just text the info above and the $10 is added to your phone bill.

Afterward, I was so proud of myself that I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, not really - I was too lazy to actually spread the PB and J on so I just dipped the bread in the containers.

Same difference.


Anonymous said...

2 days max... 3 and 4 days sans shower is pushing it dude. But good on ya for donating!

Deutlich said...

the last time i went 4 days w/out a shower I was disgustingly sick from the flu and couldn't move

Anonymous said...

Nice post, Narm. You DO have a heart! Way to redeem yourself for laughing at that poor kid!

LBluca77 said...

I'm with you on paying bills late becasue I am too lazy to even open them or even go get them out of my mailbox.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

texting other family members in the home? *check

Fizzgig said...

im too lazy to go upstairs and pee. i think all multi level dwellnigs should have toilets on each level. it should be the law.

Ed Adams said...

Wait a minute.

Was this a humanitarian post disguised with humor?

You sneaky little bastard with a big heart.

Maxie said...

no reason to shower if i'm not leaving the house!

Allison M. said...

i would like to win the chance to shave your beard.