Thursday, January 28, 2010

State of the Moonion Address

Alright, America - it's time to take this relationship to the next level.

In this big game of Risk that is the World, it is time for the U.S. claim the moon as the 51st state.

That's how this works, right? Whoever shows up to a country first wins - like "Finder's Keeper's".

So lets get back up to the moon and claim that bitch. We've been there once, our flag is there - time to slap a McDonalds and a Wal-Mart and make it truly American.

Just think of all the power we could have if we owned the moon. Screw treaties - we'd have a missile launching station there and the world would be F'd. Missile defense? Bitch, we'll shoot your ass from outer space.

Plus we'd probably get to meet up with Aliens before anyone else. We could spread all kinds of rumors about France and get ET on our side. Imagine an army of aliens and U.S. soldiers coming down on China - right before battle we'd make them all watch Rudy just to get some extra juice flowing.

So, Obama, if you are reading this (and I assume you are) - it's time to claim the moon as the 51st state. With your leadership and influence, we could be only a few decades away from MTV's Real World - The Moon.

20 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

I see we've been drinking again.

That Kind of Girl said...

I for one can't wait for Imbrium Shore. Preemptively setting my DVR as we speak.

Renee said...

From what History books tell me, all it takes to claim a country, or anything, as your very own is a flag. And we have that covered. It's all just paperwork at this point.
So let's just get this moon-state business over with. They've been sitting on it for decades now!

lacochran said...

I knew Entertainment Tonight was influential but I never realized just how much.

Joe Dude said...

If the President had dropped a little of this last night, it's at least 50-50 Ginsburg would have emerged from her coma.

blamemyrobot said...

I'd prefer to watch Jersey Shore: Moon-side Heights. I'm just not sure how they'll tan

Page Seven said...

Can I manage the first Starbucks there?

Matt said...

You think the moon will get its own football team?

WannabeVirginia W. said...

This is like one of those drink and e-mail rant. Just kidding love your posts...

Exactly my posts - how the moon messes me up.

Fizzgig said...

isnt there already 51 states? i suck at geography so dont quote me.

id be scared of the aliens. i watch v!

souljane said...

absolutely. it's clearly the solution to everything right now.

uhm, seriously.

i get to be the moon's secretary of state- i'm sure i qualify

Ed Adams said...

Going to the Moon?

That's a little far fetched, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Hey, i have an acre there. I could do that, lol.

Gofahne said...

I just stumbled across your blog by way of Shine and it may just be one of my new favorites. You crack me up. Thanks for the laughs already and I'm all up for taking over the moon. Genius!

Born with a big mouth! said...

I'll move there!

onceuponasunflower said...

Great idea! ....lol

Patti said...

according to gullible info -
• A hand-written note attached to the flag left on the moon declares Neil Armstrong to be President for Life of the "Republic of Luna".

Tgoette said...

Man, if we make the moon the 51st state then you gonna piss off a whole lot of Puerto Ricans, Narm. They been waiting longer. Nothin' meaner than a Po'd PR.

Lisa said...

Ha Ha! "Rudy" so funny!

Amanda West said...

Lol! I just stumbled across your blog through someone elses...