Monday, July 21, 2008

The Coolest Thing That Has Happened To Me Ever

Everyone has had the Best Day Ever. If you are married you are obligated to say it was your wedding day - or the day your first child was born. If you are single it was probably that day that you hit all six cups in beer pong on your first six throws and the other team had to shotgun a beer. Or that time you totally copped a feel on that drunk girl's boob when was passed out. Or the day Murder She Wrote came out on DVD.

But my Best Day Ever is today, Reader.

We just got new phones in the office and I now have the ringtone from 24.

In other words...

I AM JACK BAUER.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

This is the worst thing to happen to my coworkers since that time I wore a mustache into the office and they weren't sure if I was being serious or just being stupid. Ever try to compliment someone's mustache? It is impossible. "Wow - you barely look like a pedophile!"

But now that I have the 24 ringtone, every call is the most dramatic thing in the world.

"Hey Narm, could you send me that file we talked about earlier? I need to share it with the client."

"DAMNIT! THERE ISN'T TIME!"

Then I do a crazy somersault from my desk and take off running - all while giving a stare that says, "Yeah, I'm a badass - but underneath this Kevlar is a heart of gold."

I can also do the Jack Bauer "Angry Whisper". What is cooler than getting a few inches from someone's face and whispering something while also yelling? It's like mixing Vince McMahon with Marlon Brando in The Godfather - except not like that at all. I would think this voice would be helpful - since most of my job is negotiating - but then I remembered - Jack Bauer doesn't negotiate with terrorists! Umm...or...vendors.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go save the world from a life without advertising.

18 comments:

Phil said...

haha I'm very jealous, I've discussed the possiblity of that happening with coworkers but I'm still sitting here staring at the same phone on my desk thats been here for 2 years..maybe a hammer can secure my way to a free upgrade.

Also, I've done the moustache thing before of the pencil-thin variety only to find the most uncomfortable reactions were not the laughing or name callings but the ones that took it seriously, I felt I had to explain it to them.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Wait, Murder She Wrote is on DVD?!

Russ said...

How to compliment a mustache.

ANG* said...

thats how i am with my kelly clarkson ring tone. except 24 is actually cool and having a KC one makes me a lame, lame 26 year old.

Allison M. said...

I can't wait.

the almost right word said...

dear narm, i mean...jack.

don't hurt yourself while doing a somersault over your desk. we'd miss you...and who would make us laugh?

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

A life without advertising?!

Save us Narm.

rs27 said...

Murder She Wrote is on DVD?!?!

That Angela Lansbury had it going on.

rs27 said...

dammit, lacohcran said that joke..

Um, how about. Jack Bauer is cool.

That was lame

surviving myself said...

Lucky!

lacochran said...

rs27: Angela Landsbury has the padunkadunk!

Oh, hi Narm.

Mel said...

I have the theme to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure on my cell phone. It was very odd to hear my ringtone come from my backpack while riding around this weekend. I probably laughed like him too.

My very own Pee-Wee movie opening playing in my head while riding through Lakewood. It was so awesome.

c.watson said...

Wow that is super fantasically cool, I would say more but I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!

ttown said...

I'm sorry narm, but i'm going to have to say you can't reach jack bauer status until you can go 24 hours without sleeping or eating. Maybe that should be your next contest...

Kelli said...

I am incredibly jealous.

Alexa said...

um wait, so the OFFICE phones at MTLLC have tv show ringer options!?!? wtf? i'm totally sending my resume to you right now.

sidenote: my ringer would be "thank you for being a friend" RIP sophia!

chevelin said...

I've been tossing around the idea now for a 24 ringtone ever since I read this yesterday. Bordering on obsession. I just can't bring myself to do it after 50 Cent blared out of my breast pocket at a city luncheon.

MsPuddin said...

oh wow that IS super cool. everyone has theme music even if they dont know what it is yet. my song is i want to dance w somebody, whitney, pre bobby.