Everyone has had the Best Day Ever. If you are married you are obligated to say it was your wedding day - or the day your first child was born. If you are single it was probably that day that you hit all six cups in beer pong on your first six throws and the other team had to shotgun a beer. Or that time you totally copped a feel on that drunk girl's boob when was passed out. Or the day Murder She Wrote came out on DVD.
But my Best Day Ever is today, Reader.
We just got new phones in the office and I now have the ringtone from 24.
In other words...
I AM JACK BAUER.
This is the worst thing to happen to my coworkers since that time I wore a mustache into the office and they weren't sure if I was being serious or just being stupid. Ever try to compliment someone's mustache? It is impossible. "Wow - you barely look like a pedophile!"
But now that I have the 24 ringtone, every call is the most dramatic thing in the world.
"Hey Narm, could you send me that file we talked about earlier? I need to share it with the client."
"DAMNIT! THERE ISN'T TIME!"
Then I do a crazy somersault from my desk and take off running - all while giving a stare that says, "Yeah, I'm a badass - but underneath this Kevlar is a heart of gold."
I can also do the Jack Bauer "Angry Whisper". What is cooler than getting a few inches from someone's face and whispering something while also yelling? It's like mixing Vince McMahon with Marlon Brando in The Godfather - except not like that at all. I would think this voice would be helpful - since most of my job is negotiating - but then I remembered - Jack Bauer doesn't negotiate with terrorists! Umm...or...vendors.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go save the world from a life without advertising.