Thursday, July 3, 2008

Fortune 7.3

My fortune today:

You will enjoy good health,
That is your form of wealth.

Bad news, Fortune Cookie, I just ate at a pay-by-the-pound Chinese buffet - so unless you mean that I just got a colonic for $7.04 - I am guessing my health isn't exactly optimum right now.

Gross.

How about a different form of wealth...like...money? Or an endless supply of Pop-Snaps so I can scare away Homeless Guys when they ask me for change?

You are a cheap bastard, Fortune Cookie.



* I added this picture of my Cautionary Homeless Aversion through Non-violent General Explosives (C.H.A.N.G.E.) to clear up some confusion. Thanks Julie_Gong for pointing out the fact that these things have 1,000 different names and I should have made it more clear.

14 comments:

deutlich said...

I HATE when they say dumb things like that!

Deslyxia said...

"Working hard, or hardly working?"

That would be the worst fortune cookie ever AND is the most annoying thing the old folk say.

Julie_Gong said...

what is a pop snap?

dance move similar to jazz hands?

Emma said...

I love poppers! So much fun. For the first time in 14 years I am unable to purchase fireworks for the Fourth of July. Damn you Massachusetts and your silly rules.

lacochran's evil twin said...

At least you got a fortune. Lately all I've gotten is crappy philosophy.

"The dog bites his tail but barks for supper." [insert Scooby Doo "huh??!" here]

Tequila Mockingbird said...

the last time i took a fortune to heart, it was when it said "dabble in something you have cast aside" so i got an 8 ball.

meh, the results were shaky.

Rachel said...

(C.H.A.N.G.E.)

LMAO. I'm dieing.

Of laughter. Not cheap Chinese Buffet.

Narm said...

Deutlich - I want more specific fortunes - like "you have VD". I mean that sucks - but at least it told me something I didn't know!

Deslyxia - Way to mix and match my last two posts. And worst. phrase. evar.

Julie_Gong - I wish. I'm jazz handing your comment right now.

Emma - I first thought you comment said you love poopers and I giggled.

Lacochran's Evil Twin - You win worst fortune ever.

Tequila Mockingbird - hey-o! Good one.

Rachel - that is a much better way to go than riding piggy back on General Tso

Memphis Steve said...

I remember those things! We used to torment each other with them until we were able to get our hands on firecrackers. Then it was on to bottle rocket wars. And then finally we just started shooting each other with BB guns. Later we all joined street gangs where most of my friends ended up dead. Ah, those were the days!

lacochran said...

"Lacochran's Evil Twin - You win worst fortune ever."

This is such a surprise! I... I'd like to thank Jesus first--props!-- and my mom and dad and the academy...

The Charming Hedonist said...

C.H.A.N.G.E. -- priceless!

Ms. Jones said...

I remember those popper things lol They provided endless hours of entertainment when I was a kid

That Saddity Chic said...

Oh I loved pop snaps as a kid! Do they still make those things?

Monie said...

lmaoooooooo I haven't seen a box of those in a long ass time.