Monday, July 21, 2008
You Gotta Stay Positive
So the Hold Steady show was amazing. Using my stomach as a mixing bowl for Crown Royal, Jameson, PBR and Jager was...well...not.
But while at the concert randomly talking to people because I suffer from "Don't know when to shut the fuck up" I came to the realization that about 72% of the population is socially awkward.
I am not saying I am the life of the party - but I like I can have a conversation with a stranger without making their palms sweat (unless it is a girl - my looks have been known to make girls break out in sweats).
^ Sweats that girls sometimes break out from talking to me
If you sit down and think about it - when you have an actual conversation with a stranger - how often do you come out of that convo thinking "That guy was normal! I think I'll walk at a normal pace with my back turned to him now."
There is always an awkward moment where you spring from the conversation like so many babies from Brittney Spears' clown car of a womb and do that awkward trying-not-to-look-like-you-are-walking-too-fast-but-really-you-just-want-to-get-the-fuck-out-of-there dance. It's like the Soulja Boy Dance but with less sexual references.
Note to strangers - I don't care about your kids or strange health problems - my standing next to you in line does not make me care that your new heart medicine makes you sweat profusely. In fact - I had already noticed that and placed you in the Creepy Column.
Am I alone in this? Is it me that is a creep? Because I am fine with that - I just think it would be nice to know now so that I can explain why I am sweating so much.