If you were to make a list of the coolest dudes ever it wouldn't probably go something like this:
1. James Dean
3. Simon Pegg
4. Frank Sinatra
5. Mr. T
But you would be wrong. Because Fred Rogers is the coolest dude to ever walk through the Neighborhood of Make Believe. And that is NOT a knock on Prince Tuesday.
Normally I wouldn't trust a man with two first names - but luckily Fred has that little "s" at the end of Rogers that makes him a-ok in my book. I mean the man was a legend, loved by all - and still put his shoes on one at a time, just like everyone else.
Cnn.com has a story on why Mr. Rogers is the Best Neighbor Ever.
No argument here, Cnn.com
But their #1 reason for him being the Best Neighbor Ever? "Even Koko the gorilla loved him." That is a TERRIBLE reason! Mr. Rogers is a buffet of awesome - and you choose the fact that some gorilla liked him?
Fuck that gorilla. So it knows sign language - what the hell does a gorilla really have to talk about?
"Hey Koko! How is your day?"
"I'll get one in a minute - did you study today?"
"In a bit - have you just been hanging out all day?"
"Hanging out? Get it? Because you are a gorilla?"
"Oh cmon - that was funny!"
"Ok, seriously - I just want a fucking banana - now walk your ass over there and get one for me. I'm like 600 lbs heavier than you and I have these huge teeth. Do you see these? They'll kill you. I'd get it but I walk on my knuckles and by the time I get back to this La-Z-Boy the banana will be destroyed and there is no WAY I am watching Mr. Rogers without my banana."
Koko is a bitch.
Mr. Rogers didn't have time for that Koko drama - Mr. McFeely is bringing a delivery and someone has to feed those fish ASAP. If you don't agree with me, read the article and try to give me one good reason that Mr. Rogers is not Best Neighbor Ever.