I don't know how many of you work in advertising but this spoof was too good not to post.
I'm having trouble convincing myself that advertising is, in fact, not the end of the world. That, believe it or not, if someone doesn't see an ad for one of our products, no one will die. Except me, because I will be fired and then not pay rent and become one of the countless homeless people in Cleveland.
I have to imagine it wouldn't be that hard to round up a bunch of homeless people into some form of Homeless Army. People are easiest to control when they are desperate - hard to be much more desperate than homeless people (unless you are Cory Feldman looking for a gig).
I want to be the Homeless Moses. I want to lead my people to freedom - and by freedom I mean the parking lot behind Cleveland Browns Stadium. Aluminum cans for days! Thank YOU alcoholic Browns fans! And aluminum cans are the currency of homeless people. I'd pimp out my shopping cart-house and get ALL the homeless ladies.
And with my Homeless Army could march downtown and start a Homeless Band. Homeless people have it all wrong with their solo act. No one is impressed Saxophone Guy - you'd be third chair at best. And Bongos Guy - seriously - no one wants to listen to bongos unless they are hippies - and hippies aren't even real people. But together - the Homeless Band could play ironic songs like the Stones' "Gimme Shelter". I would give money to a band of homeless dudes playing ironic songs about them not having a place to live. I would slap my knee and say, "Oh you crazy homeless people! Here's a nickel!'
And we would garner so much popularity that politicians would fight for our votes. They would storm the streets and shake our dirty hands in our gloves with the fingers cut off and throw quarters in our oversized plastic cups. Soon national attention would be paid to the Homeless Moses and his Homeless Army playing ironic songs in their Homeless Band. America would rest in the hands of who Homeless Moses backed in the election - and lets face it - the Homeless Army would totally be going for Barack. He speaks to the homeless person. He'd approach my cardboard box and I'd say:
"Barack, do you have any change?"
And he would respond:
"Yes I do, Homeless Moses, I have a Change You Can Believe In."
Barack Obama in 2008
Homeless Moses said so.