Monday, July 7, 2008

Urban Cowboy

One of my favorite things about going back to my Smalltown Ohio city is the fact that somewhere along Route 30 I hit a magical time warp back to 1989. Back in this magical land people believe Bryan Adams was actually around in 1969 and Eddie Murphy made movies that didn't contain this phrase, "Starring - Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy AND (dramatic pause) Eddie Murphy!" Wait - he's in a fat suit now! He's so multi-talented! Look at how many characters he plays!

Don't even get me started on the Big Bang theory. Maybe I am behind the times and trying to look like Poison is coming back around - but I doubt it (I'm holding on to my day-glo tube socks just in case).

But I can handle all of that. I've grown up with rednecks and I have come to appreciate Dale Jr. shirts, trucker hats and I understand wanting to take a ride on the handle-bar mustache (I think that came out wrong).

But there is a new, alarming trend sweeping smalltown America and I think, for the benefit of stereotypes everywhere, we need to unite against it.

The Fubu Cowboy.

Standing under the beer tent, sipping my Busch Light like any redneck - I counted countless Fubu jerseys, G-Unit shirts and quite a few other urban looking outfits.

I enjoy hip-hop fashion - but I find it ridiculous when little Johnny comes home from FFA and puts on a giant gold chain and his Rocowear jeans. You aren't exactly from the "street" when your address is "County Road ____" and isn't paved. Also I don't think they make a Calvin sticker where he is pissing on "Haters".

I understand the similarities - the Fubu Cowboy has readily available Carhart outlets and when taking his jacked up F-150 through the river banks he can say he is riding dirty - but lets look at possible miscommunication that could happen -

So next time you see this misguided soul - please hand him a Skynyrd record and point him in the direction of Larry the Cable Guy - we aren't far away from a Toby Keith "American Souja Boy" remix.


The Doggy Did It said...

I yearn for the days when Eddie Murphy was just a bad ass, rule breaking cop, from Detroit...not several fat people, in drag.

Sad turn of events there for old Eddie. How cool would it be to see him do another 48 hours or BHC...instead of is that shit anyway?

Alexa said...

i thought that fubu cowboy was just a myth.

i don't believe you have actually seen one. damn.

Anonymous said...

a toby keith "Soulja Boy Remix"?

my eyes just popped out of their sockets at the mere THOUGHT of that

Rachel said...

"American Souja Boy?" I'll take two.

lacochran said...

Erm, Brian Adams was actually around in 1969. He was born in 1959. So he was 10. So...

"Standin' on your mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever"

maybe means they were waiting for mom to make pudding?

Well, I would. Especially for chocolate.

Narm said...

The Doggy Did It - The worst thing about Eddie is that he is 10 characters in every movie - but they are the same 10 characters; the fat lady, the skinny old guy - we get it Eddie.

Alexa - he is more elusive than big foot.

Deutlich - yeah I know - awesome, right?

Rachel - I just want to see Toby do the dance.

Lacochran - my bad - I should have specified that he was around in 69 actually DOING the things he is singing about. And I prefer banana.

Lauren said...

Maybe the hip hop culture will find it "cool" to be a redneck soon. Maybe they'll start rapping "Sweet Home Alabama" or the similar. Maybe they'll go to Nascar events!

I sure hope not.

surviving myself said...

I hate Eddie Murphy now and it is all Eddie Murphy's fault.

the almost right word said...

busch light?

what happened to miller high life -- the champagne of beers!??

rs27 said...

As long as Eddie Murphy sings about stuff in your butt he can't be all that bad.

I wish I had some FUBU so I could have some "mad respect."

ANG* said...

oh how i miss you northeastern ohio...

rawbean said...

You drink Busch light beer? That's interesting.

browngirlspeak said...

I have to represent Northwest Ohio...even though I moved many years ago...I still love to go back home and order a Old Milwaukee on draft :) for only a dollar. Ain't that America :)