Monday, July 7, 2008

DAMNIT!

DAMNIT!

I'm watching the Bachelorette.

How did this happen? I am so strong in my stance against reality TV (besides Deadliest Catch, Wipeout and 24). And I crumble for the Bachelorette? Not just the last ten minutes, either. I managed to see a majority of the two hour finale as well as the one hour "After the Rose" special. That is three hours of my life I will never get back. I could have run a marathon in that amount of time. Ok, I personally could not have run a marathon in that amount of time - but people who are in shape could have. I'm in shape, it's just that my shape is an oval.

I actually just said to my roommate -

"This is the most ridiculous show I have ever seen and I demand that you turn it up immediately."

But while watching one of the few broadcast shows I have watched in the last few months - I realized an epidemic sweeping through America's youth. No, not obesity. Not over medication, either.

These kids are addicted.

So far I have learned that kids are hooked on phonics, stuck on band-aid brand and are taking to the streets demanding (albeit it politely) "More Ovaltine, please!"

When did this happen? How did this Lost Generation of Youth fall victim to the sweet temptation of phonetics - how did they rummage the streets with well bandaged knees - and lets face it, these kids are entirely too young for milk mustaches.

Who do I blame?

Kermit.


It ain't easy bein green, eh Kermit? Maybe because you can't get off the udder long enough to take out the trash and get Ms Piggy off your back. ONE FARM ANIMAL AT A TIME, KERMIE!

Pervert.

When is this reality craze going to end so we can stop corrupting our children and get back to programming that shows what life is REALLY like:

Solving violent crimes with your witty, sarcastic partner and sleeping with all of your co-workers at the hospital.

14 comments:

Alexa said...

narm, its never going to end. it is here to stay.

did i burst your bubble?

moooooog35 said...

The Bachelor.

*sigh*

Sorry dude...but you have to hand over your Mantown Membership card immediately.

Post a nude shot of Tila Tequila, though, and I may forgive you.

Thanks in advance.

the almost right word said...

hey, it's not just kids that are addicted...it's adults too! now that's the real scare.

Lauren said...

Never blame the decline of civilization on Kermit. Never!

He's just so...adorable.

deutlich said...

Deadliest Catch is the most addicting TV Show EVER.

Jenn said...

Well since you saw it...how mad are you that she picked Jesse?!

surviving myself said...

Kermit looks so dapper!

rs27 said...

Kermi can't wear suits! How does he put them on?

This is why milk is the devil's milk.

that makes no sense

MsPuddin said...

"we re all going to die!"

Um these kids are clueless, pedialyte is so much better than ovaltine. well for hangovers that is...

Narm said...

Alexa - why are you so mean to me?

Mooooog35 - I have already sent my testicles to be held until I use a chainsaw or weld something.

The Almost Right Word - now that you say that I AM stuck on band-aid brand!

Lauren - I am sorry - I lost my cool and drug him into this.

Deutlich - those marathons are the end of my productivity. They should only be allowed to show 3 consecutive episodes.

Jenn - Jason was a goober. Yes, a goober. Plus my friend Allison M (of Confessions of a Cohabitant) is friends with Jesse so I am going to try to parlay this into my own TV show in which I fight small crimes like littering and jay-walking. CSI - Who Gives a Shit.

Surviving Myself - Kermie is looking to get laaaaid.

RS27 - oooh I bet the Devil's milk would make great cheese.

MsPuddin - I'll have to try this magical hangover cure you are talking about

Stephanie said...

I watch almost every reality show, yet i don't watch The Bachelorette. Shame on me. I'm ashamed. I'm not sure if it's because i watch every other show, or not this one.

Fumbling Towards Adulthood said...

Wow. Is Kermit wearing...a mock turtleneck?

Also, I ended up watching The Bachelorette on Monday night, too. You may respond to this admission by saying "Whatever. You're a female. Big surprise." But I swear to you, I shun all things reality TV. (Except for maybe Bridezillas, because that shit is hilarious.) I will firmly attest, however, that there was NOTHING on TV on Monday night. NOTHING. Thus, I feel into the crap trap that is ABC. And is it me, or did that one girl who won last year look like Anna Nicole Smith?

That is all.

Fumbling Towards Adulthood said...

Fell, not feel.

Today is not my day.

j*amy said...

hahah! i must say i'm not really into reality tv...or really any tv. i got into American Idol a little, but then realized i had better things to do with my time than get sucked into being in front of the tube at 8pm every tuesday [or whenever it is, i dont remember]

anyway...yeah, i'd rather watch law & order, simpsons, family guy or the office any day...