I'm watching the Bachelorette.
How did this happen? I am so strong in my stance against reality TV (besides Deadliest Catch, Wipeout and 24). And I crumble for the Bachelorette? Not just the last ten minutes, either. I managed to see a majority of the two hour finale as well as the one hour "After the Rose" special. That is three hours of my life I will never get back. I could have run a marathon in that amount of time. Ok, I personally could not have run a marathon in that amount of time - but people who are in shape could have. I'm in shape, it's just that my shape is an oval.
I actually just said to my roommate -
"This is the most ridiculous show I have ever seen and I demand that you turn it up immediately."
But while watching one of the few broadcast shows I have watched in the last few months - I realized an epidemic sweeping through America's youth. No, not obesity. Not over medication, either.
These kids are addicted.
So far I have learned that kids are hooked on phonics, stuck on band-aid brand and are taking to the streets demanding (albeit it politely) "More Ovaltine, please!"
When did this happen? How did this Lost Generation of Youth fall victim to the sweet temptation of phonetics - how did they rummage the streets with well bandaged knees - and lets face it, these kids are entirely too young for milk mustaches.
Who do I blame?
It ain't easy bein green, eh Kermit? Maybe because you can't get off the udder long enough to take out the trash and get Ms Piggy off your back. ONE FARM ANIMAL AT A TIME, KERMIE!
When is this reality craze going to end so we can stop corrupting our children and get back to programming that shows what life is REALLY like:
Solving violent crimes with your witty, sarcastic partner and sleeping with all of your co-workers at the hospital.