Monday, October 13, 2008

Brothers in (clothing without) Arms

Hey, Internetz.

Good, good – how are you doing?

Yeah, she’s fine it was just a rash…Hey listen, can we talk? Something has been bugging me for awhile now and I didn’t really know how to bring it up.

When were you going to tell me about the Jonas Brothers?

I just saw some commercial about them on the TV and, from the looks of things, they are more popular than breathing. I’m still not sure exactly what they do besides wear vests and give dramatic looks, but apparently it drives the kids crazy,

When did this happen? I like to think I keep up with things – I mean I have a blog, and Twitter and even a toaster oven – but suddenly pop culture comes in and makes me look like a fool.

Are they actually brothers? Or are they brothers the way Hulk Hogan calls people brother?

I heard one of them is dating Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus or one of those other girls I don’t look at until they are 18 so I don’t say something creepy – doesn’t he realize they are like two years away from their drug induced, psychotic meltdown a la Britt and Lindsay? Everyone knows THAT is when they start putting out!

And when do we find out Lou Pearlman was copping feels on these kids? I think that is the most exciting part of boybands. The “Oh wait, this creepy looking 40 yr old guy ISN’T actually our friend and I shouldn’t accept his offer to wash my back in the shower. But he has soft hands!!!”

And of course, who is going to be the Lance Bass of the group? You know what I’m talking about, the one that finally comes out of the closet years later and admits to the world – “I want to be an astronaut.”

But most importantly – where do I get one of those snazzy vests?

21 comments:

Ben said...

I, for one, am quite tired of people younger than me being richer than I am. SICK and tired, no less. Can we enforce some law about that?

moooooog35 said...

Spoken by a man who has no daughter.

I, on the other hand, no all-too-well the complete words to "I don't wanna go to school."

Yes, it's true. I don't wanna see a teacher's face again.

I don't wanna..I don't wanna...I don't wanna go to scho...

KILL ME!! KILL ME!!

LBluca77 said...

The teens are taking over the world and in vests no less.

Ugh and you had to mention Miley Cyrus. She is just gross. With all the money she has and she still has not gotten herself a set of much needed caps for her teeth.

Mon said...

vests are back. ala 80s style vests. So are boy bands. History repeats itself. So, like the 30 year olds hated us when we were 13 thinking new kids on the block were "IT"...we hate them for the jonas brothers. (cmon i know you like NKOTB, everyone does)

Deutlich said...

Ugh. I loathe Lou.

Christina_the_wench said...

I hope I am dead by the time they bring back Hammer pants. Seriously. Kill me before then.

I have teen daughters who make fun of girls who gush over pop stars. I train them right.

stealthnerd said...

I happen to know that you can find some pretty rockin' (how's that for puntastic?) vests at Target.

As for the bros. Jonai? Well, clearly Kevin (the weird one who isn't dating anyone popular) will be the Lance Bass.

I suddenly feel I know more about these guys than I should for a 23 year old....

kkaleal said...

Besides the vests and the dramatic looks, the one (I have no idea which one) also flat irons his hair.

Read Perez Hilton and you will know 10000x more than you ever want or need to about those kids. Personally, I think Perez wants to be the Lance Bass of the group.

Or the Lou Perlman....

Nilsa S. said...

It's this trendy thing called Perez Hilton. He's a persona. And a blog. All rolled into one. Start reading him and you'll never be left in the dark!

rs27 said...

the Jonas brothers and I have something in common.

We're rich.

Not really we're both from Jersey.

Same thing.

fiona said...

You can borrow my vest!

canadian preTzel said...

The Jonas brother who is dating Miley Cyrus is TOTALLY trading down.

Megkathleen said...

I know nothing about the Jonas Brothers and I intend to keep it that way. Also, I have a feeling Miley Cyrus is already putting out...

Angela said...

Please, PLEASE. I beg you.

You don't want anything to do with the Jonas Brothers.

It will just label you as "lame" for the rest of your life.

Vests and pointy-toe boots for men? You don't want to take that route.

Phil said...

My money for the astronaut is the one who wears the scarf around his neck. I'm actually secretly hoping that he not only comes out as an astronaut, but that he comes out as a LADY astronaut.

April said...

I do not see the fascination with the JoBros (I hear that's what the cool kids are calling them). They are creepy looking girly men and their pants are too tight. But what the hell do I know, I used to FREAK OUT over Duran Duran. Talk about creep looking girly men. Yes, I'm old. I'm aware.

Lauren said...

PLEASE GET ONE OF THE VESTS! I think you'd rock it. I'm just saying.

I heard about them a bit ago by a friend who has a daughter. The daughter is clearly in love with them. I don't get it. They look kind of like moles. The animal.

Thankfully, Pearlman is still in jail, so at least this band will go untouched.

catscratch said...

It's the Disney age kid infestation and it's extremely annoying.

* New Kids on the Block
* N Sync
* Backstreet Boys

I think it's the whole coordination thing..... ech.

PomJob said...

I had the "pleasure" of attending the JB concert in Philly for work. Wow. My ears will never be the same, what with all the shrieking and gnashing of teeth and fainting.

kristi said...

Umm...yeah, I have a teenager and she loves her some Jonas Brothers.

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