Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Facebroke

For once I want to be serious. For once I want to talk about the issues. There is a time and a place for being charming, witty and muscular - and that time is not today.

Our economy is in shambles.

Our decisions and habits are having a very real effect on the environment.

We are in the midst of one of the most important elections in history.

But most importantly, we need to come together as a generation and demand the old Facebook back.

I can't think of one issue that has a larger impact on my generation, Generation Me, than standing up for our rights to have applications on our main profile page.

We need to follow the groundwork laid down by our parents; who fought against the draft and organized rallies against the war in Viet Nam. We need to take motivation from the rebel rum runners of the prohibition - fighting for their rights as the government was swayed by special interest groups.

We need to take hold of our resources and make our voices heard by the masses, we need to DEMAND change in the most powerful way we know how - we need to get 1,000,000 strong to join a Facebook group called, "The new Facebook sucks!"

If things continue the way they are, it will take all Facebook users one extra click to go from reading what that cute girl in your history class' friend wrote on her wall to then go see what Sex and the City character she most resembles.

Those clicks add up to hours and days of wasted time. With all of this precious time lost, what will become of Twitter updates? They will be half-hearted.

At best.

I don't want to see that world. I dream of a world where Facebook is once again the most important thing in our entire existance. I dream of a world where I wake up in some A-Ha inspired other world where I morph in and out of real life and a Facebook world where wall posts and pieces of flair and bumper stickers are all together in one ridiculous cluttered, slow-loading, annoying page.

Our generation faces an adversary the likes of which hasn't been seen since the last time Facebook made radical changes and introduced the newsfeed.

When this villain struck the first time our passion was great, but our organization was weak. We screamed through groups and emails. We slandered Facebook with nicknames like Stalkerbook and Creeperbook.

And then we got the fuck over it.

31 comments:

Marie said...

You should run for President. I'd vote for you.

Ben said...

While we're at it, let's try for a holiday in support of bacon. I'd say that's pretty important too.

Mel said...

At least it's not fucking MySpace.

*shudder*

lacochran said...

You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair...

Allison M. said...

I'm keeping my flair though. What's with the new login screen anyway?

Douchegirl said...

I hate the new Facebook. For a whole week after the change, my status updates consisted of some variation of "The new Facebook sucks."

P.S: Why would people get upset when the newsfeed first came out? It's my favorite part.

Alexa said...

laughing out loud

this little gem of a blog post deserves an award.

Poetry Sue said...

whats a facebook? and why is it so important? Whats wrong with myspace? its the best place evern to harras people I don't like.


PS facebook sucks, new or old

Lauren said...

Hahahaha. I really think Facebook is more important to most than what's going on in the world. Now, if during debates they argued over which was better, new vs old layout, i bet so many more people would watch them.

Vicky said...

You're so right as usual :-)
And I'm with Marie on you running for president. Except I can't vote, being all the way over here in Europe. But I'd pretend to vote for you. Would that help?

Arjewtino said...

I like the new FB so I will not be joining your cause.

Unless my mom stays on Facebook. Then I'll have no choice but to jump ship.

longredcape said...

I don't like the new Facebook. FUCK those extra clicks.

surviving myself said...

I joined FB after the new site already launched. So I could give a shit.

I'm going to send you an application that both confuses you and makes you question your self worth.

ANG* said...

yes changing the way our world works (aka facebook) is a serious matter. im glad you're on board to stop the madness.

LBluca77 said...

I think I just fell in love with Ben for his comment about a holiday in support of bacon.

Ok back to you Narm. I used to have a facebook account, but honestly it was to confusing. Myspace is simple and easy. Facebook requires one to have a degree in rocket science.

Christina_the_wench said...

There's a new Facebook? Crap, now I gotta go figure out what my password is again.

Maxie said...

I like the new facebook! Applications are my friend...

except those super hug applications. they are annoying. i don't want to huge anyone via my computer.

stealthnerd said...

Didn't you tell me in my post
that I should embrace the new Fbook? Didn't you tell me that we loved creepy feed after awhile? Where did that resolve go?!

Megkathleen said...

I know! Thank you for saying something. People need to stand up for what they believe in. I mean how are people supposed to know what a good scrabble player I am if it's not on the main page?

c.watson said...

Amen brother! We should stage a coup of facebook. I know where there offices are I use to work over there.
FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!!!

catscratch said...

Ech. I suck. I've never even seen Facebook. MySpace, sure. It sucks and is crawling with kids.

I don't have time for another addiction.

Duck said...

Omg, you're hilarious.

See, this is why extraneous clicking isn't necessarily a bad thing. I led me to a good laugh for the day.

rs27 said...

What if I like the new Facebook?

I would be a maverick.

Nilsa S. said...

Since I'm a newbie to FB, I really don't know what the old one is like. Humor me. Entertain me. Tell me more.

dmb5_libra said...

i kind of like the new facebook.....i know, i'm a traitor.

ben - i wholeheartedly agree with you....maybe we should start a facebook group?

Julie_Gong said...

I'm so glad rs27 said "maverick" I've been dying to crack open a cold one all day long

Jenn said...

I miss Scrabulous :(

Mon said...

i can see this great important issue means a lot to you.

But I'm for the other side, so I can't sympathize.

I'm voting for myspace.

Kelly and José said...

I actually like the New Facebook :)

We're young, after all, and should open to change*

-Kelly

Sustaino - said...

Right on! I like the old Facebook much better. And I don't know if it's because I got use to the original style and set up...but seriously...it's new some new love!

April said...

I am so with you on this. I hate the new Facebook. I hate not seeing my flair when I sign on. Dude, I love my flair. Love it. Beautiful little buttons of happiness sent to my by all my Facebook buds out of the kindness of their hearts. To make me laugh, give me cheer, provide encouragement. And now I have to go through the process of a whole extra click and then scroll down to see them?? Too. Much. Wasted. Energy. Give me back my freaking flair.