For once I want to be serious. For once I want to talk about the issues. There is a time and a place for being charming, witty and muscular - and that time is not today.
Our economy is in shambles.
Our decisions and habits are having a very real effect on the environment.
We are in the midst of one of the most important elections in history.
But most importantly, we need to come together as a generation and demand the old Facebook back.
I can't think of one issue that has a larger impact on my generation, Generation Me, than standing up for our rights to have applications on our main profile page.
We need to follow the groundwork laid down by our parents; who fought against the draft and organized rallies against the war in Viet Nam. We need to take motivation from the rebel rum runners of the prohibition - fighting for their rights as the government was swayed by special interest groups.
We need to take hold of our resources and make our voices heard by the masses, we need to DEMAND change in the most powerful way we know how - we need to get 1,000,000 strong to join a Facebook group called, "The new Facebook sucks!"
If things continue the way they are, it will take all Facebook users one extra click to go from reading what that cute girl in your history class' friend wrote on her wall to then go see what Sex and the City character she most resembles.
Those clicks add up to hours and days of wasted time. With all of this precious time lost, what will become of Twitter updates? They will be half-hearted.
I don't want to see that world. I dream of a world where Facebook is once again the most important thing in our entire existance. I dream of a world where I wake up in some A-Ha inspired other world where I morph in and out of real life and a Facebook world where wall posts and pieces of flair and bumper stickers are all together in one ridiculous cluttered, slow-loading, annoying page.
Our generation faces an adversary the likes of which hasn't been seen since the last time Facebook made radical changes and introduced the newsfeed.
When this villain struck the first time our passion was great, but our organization was weak. We screamed through groups and emails. We slandered Facebook with nicknames like Stalkerbook and Creeperbook.
And then we got the fuck over it.