I had every intention of posting today, Reader. Really, I did. I had grand ideas for hilarious posts that would bring joy and happiness to your Monday morning.
But then the Discovery Channel decided to play a Planet Earth marathon last night.
A man has to have priorities.
After watching for two hours last night I came to a realization.
Penguins are by far the most puntable animal.
Guys, be honest, when you see a penguin you instantly guesstimate it's height and weight and try to determine what kind of distance you could get on that lil guy.
I love penguins, don't get me wrong. I've read the Zoobooks, I've watched the shows -
But I bet I could make a 25 yard field goal with an adult penguin.
As if that isn't enough - they huddle together to make themselves look like bowling pins. Look at them! I just want to get a full head of steam and do a Pete Rose dive right into the middle of that pile.
But penguins are only found in the poles of the world - and I'm kind of broke and don't feel like taking that many days off of vacation.
No, my dream of punting penguins going to have to wait. Until then, I'll have to stick to punting normal things here in Cleveland. But I have to admit - it just won't be the same -
Poodles just don't get the same distance.