I just had the most sexually rewarding sneeze of my life.
I didn't need a tissue, I needed a towel and a cigarette.
If I ever find myself wrestling in the sheets with an uggo, I can just close my eyes and picture that sneeze and everything will be ok.
I didn't even cover my mouth - I hope that my germs will disperse throughout the world faster than Shawn Kemp's bloodline and get someone else sick - just so that they can experience the same sneeze I just had.
Nope, I'm not even going to wipe that beautiful experience off of my beard.
I'm just going to sit here and remember the good times; the way that one sneeze changed my life forever.
God bless YOU, Sneeze.