Life isn't like they show it in the movies or on television (except for me making out with hot chicks all the time - that part is true) - but that doesn't mean we don't all have a little Jack Bauer or MacGyver in us. The problem is that for REAL people - our instincts don't kick in when a nuclear warhead is about to go off or when we are trapped in a room with an explosive and nothing at our disposal but a toothpick and a baseball card.
Well - I am sure our killer instincts WOULD kick in - but instead of killing 48 bad guys and disarming the bomb we would cry and sit in the fetal position repeating, "I don't want to die...I don't want to die." At least that's what I did when I got my flu shot. That needle was big!
No - our killer instinct kicks in when we are faced with everyday problems.
Like this -
An empty paper towel roll is the equivalent to sitting next to a ticking time bomb with a gun to your head AND your girlfriend's Dad asking you what your intentions are with his daughter.
When you realize the roll is empty your instincts immediately kick in - nothing is safe: magazine, fake plant, your roommate's toothbrush - ANYTHING goes.
Suddenly you are a pantsless Einstein reviewing the chemical makeup of every item in the bathroom and analyzing it's texture in the removal process vs flushability.
And if there is no back-up plan? You have to do the awkward waddle around your home and see if there is anything else to use - while also hoping you don't see anyone or anyone else walk into the bathroom in your absence.
And then you realize how easy MacGyver had it - I mean at least HE had a baseball card.
What is the craziest toilet paper substitute you've been forced to use?