Today brings installment of Everyday Enemies - a semi-regular feature here on WCR that allows me to scream at people on the internet. My therapist says this is much healthier than making stabbing motions at them when they turn their back.
For those of you new to Everyday Enemies, it focuses on the people and situations that interfere with my ability to make it through everyday. The people that make me question whether this rat race is worth the cheese at the end. The people who ask, "Hot enough for ya?"
Today's Everyday Enemy - The Obvious Complainer
I recently did a study that analyzed the affect of complaining to changing a situation. What I came back with was quite interesting. After extensive tests and research it turns out that COMPLAINING DOESN'T HELP EVER.
I'll pause while women everywhere pick their jaws up off the floor.
There are lots of situations that I deal with regularly that maybe I don't enjoy - being out in the cold, waiting in long lines, talking to you - yet, I realize that if I complain the entire time, it won't get better.
Know what does help shitty situations? Zoning the fuck out.
When I am stuck out in the cold in a long line talking to you, I just zone out. So when I am looking off into space, fantasizing about Taylor Swift pulling me on stage to sing 'Love Song' and then a spaceship from her home planet comes and beams us up and the Jonas Brothers are steering the ship, then one of them looks at me and just before he can tell me the secret to life I hear your voice say, "I'M SO COLD!" - I'm going to give you the Murder Eyes.
I don't want you to think I am against complaining - I mean, I am a blogger for christ's sake - complaining is like the air I breathe. That being said, complaining in already horrible situations is like Hell playing a loop of Nickelback - I'm already on fire, don't rub it in, Satan.
Because I am not afraid to make stabbing motions at him when he turns his back.