Monday, November 9, 2009

Vanity Unfair

I'm not one for vanity plates.

I mean, I enjoy that they let me know if people are weirdos before I ever meet them (like wearing a Wanda Sykes t-shirt), but I have yet to read one that told me something I needed to know.

"Ballin"

Really? Is it gangsta to wait in line 45 minutes at the BMV to change your license plate?

"Was His"

Congrats! You got the car in your divorce! And to celebrate, you got a license plate that will scare off any new potential man more than the words "I'm late".

But yesterday I saw one that confused me to the point I wanted to just pull over and cry.

"NTY MNKY"

What?!?!

What does that stand for?

Nifty Monkey?

Naughty Monkey?

Nasty Monkey?

And behind the wheel? I middle aged bald man.

What could this possibly stand for? It HAS to be some form of monkey, right? And the NTY can pretty much only mean something disgusting. So how did this middle-aged bald man become not only a monkey, but some form of perverted monkey - and why does he now feel the need to broadcast this?

But most importantly, why would he wait in line 45 minutes at the BMV to have this changed?

That's not what a "Nasty Monkey" would do.

Trust me, I would know.

16 comments:

Ed Adams said...

Maybe it's Nutty Monkey.

Was he wearing a big yellow hat?

Matt said...

What kind of car was it? That would help me decipher what it means.

Ben said...

Just think how many golf claps these people must get from the DMV attendants who really could not give two shits about how clever you think you are...

Mel said...

So weird that you posted this today! I was behind a car this morning with the plate "STOP CKD." WTF?!

"Stop Crooked"
"Stop Coked"
"Stop, See Kid?"

ARGH. I do not get it. My favorites are the religious plates. Really? I cannot believe someone would actually pay for vanity plates about "God." And typically, they're driving like assholes. So, I'm screaming "Jesus Christ!" in my car constantly on commutes.

lacochran said...

*flings poo* *screeches* *scampers away*

Moooooog35 said...

NTY MNKY = "Not Yemen, K-Y."

Just someone who like lube professing his disdain for a country located on the Arabian Peninsula in Southwest Asia.

Duh.

Gilahi said...

Maybe he's against monkeys, and it's supposed to be "anti-monkey".

Speaking of "IM LATE", I once saw that, I thought cleverly, on a white Rabbit.

One of my favorite puzzlers that took me a while was "PHNOTV". I concluded that his name must have been "Stephen" (not "Steven").

Kellie said...

Interesting. I'm going w/ Naughty Monkey. And it's disturbing me.

Yesterday I saw one that said Petlady on it. In the parked car was a dog. With no owner. That ain't cool Petlady. Don't you know you don't leave your pets unattended in your car!?!?

That Kind of Girl said...

Totally with you on vanity plates -- the only method quicker than bumper stickers to let other drivers know you're a jackass.

With that said, though, I do occasionally enjoy punny license plates based on the car. (Loved "IM LATE" on the white Rabbit!) One of the best I've ever seen was a bright orange convertible with the license plate: "ORNG PL".

Also, a few months ago I was amused to see a California plate with the inscription: H4TL35S. Couldn't tell whether it was a happy coincidence, or some uber-1337 hax0r who's just really, really anti-chapeaux.

Toe said...

Umm I can't really comment since I am the proud owner of vanity plates but mine are awesome sauce.

It says Naughty Man KY. This is visually disturbing.

LBluca77 said...

Ok you stumped me at BMV. Never heard of BMV before so I googled it. Now it makes sense. We say DMV in these here parts though so that’s why all the confusion.

Meg Kathleen said...

One of my friends who used to live in Las Vegas told me that vanity plates are HUGE there. If you ask me that's all you ever need to know about them: people who choose to live in Las Vegas think they're the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Mike said...

I think you've got ALL the monkeys covered with that plate.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

There's a kid who lives in my neighborhood with giant rims on his wheels. His plate says 20TOOS. I can't make this stuff up.

Maxie said...

I hope it's their initials and they never thought about what it might sound like.

Anonymous said...

As were were leaving the cemetary after a funeral, on a dreary rainy day, a car zoomed around us on the double yellow line. The vanity plate?....O B QUIET