I've figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
When I was younger, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a dinosaur. Well, we can all see how that worked out.
But now, NOW I know what I want to be.
I want to be one of those old guys that wears suits everywhere he goes.
You know what I'm talking about - those little old guys with gray hair that seem to be shrinking right in front of your eyes. Like if you turn around their clothes are suddenly going to be way too big and the shoes three sizes bigger than their feet. It is like they are being baby-anized. Or part of some new horrible movie - Honey, I Shrunk Your Grandpa.
How many suits do these old guys own that they can wear them to the grocery store or the dentist? Do they collect them over the years? Why don't old ladies wear bridesmaid dresses everywhere?
It just doesn't make sense.
But it is my destiny. I want to get up in the morning, spend 30 minutes getting my entire suit put on, walk out to get the paper and then come back home and have to change.
I want to be the Barney Stinson of old guys.
So now that I know what I want to be - I just have to figure out how to be it.
But how do I realize my dreams? How to I become this new person?
I researched online and the only advice I could find was this -
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
That doesn't seem like it would work at all.