Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Raise the Roof

Home ownership is an entirely new animal. Sure it hurts your wallet and your social life - but perhaps nothing takes a hit quite like your pride.

Case in point -

I climbed up on top of my garage to clear a bunch of old sticks, leaves and other debris before the always fun Cleveland winter. All is well, I scrape everything off and do acrobatic sex moves to maneuver around the power lines. All in all, I looked like a badass.

But then it was time to get down.

You see, I hadn't secured the ladder on level ground - so every time I went to take a step, the ladder would slide out from under me.

In other words, I was stuck on the roof.

Of course, this would not have been such a big deal if it had not been the last nice weekend of the fall - so every single one of my neighbors was also outside doing yardwork.

I know the polite "Hey nice to see you but I don't want to talk to you" neighbor wave.

As well as the "I would talk to you but I am in the middle of this job and can't stop" wave.

What I haven't learned is the "Oh my god I have a terminal case of Embarrassment and I will now commence a three month period in which I don't leave my house for fear of having to explain to you why I am sitting on the roof of my garage screaming for my roommate to come hold the ladder so I can get down" wave.

Practice makes perfect.


Moooooog35 said...

Wait til you have to do the 'sorry I ran over your cat with my snowblower' wave.


ken said...

how high was the garage?

jump, you fucker, jump!

Fizzgig said...

i bet you are on youtube somewhere....id google myself if I were you!

Lana said...

securing ladders sounds like a secret trick that only certain people are warned about. no one can be expected to figure that out before climbing up one.

Marie said...

This is why you need 1 or 2 or 3 big trees around so you can climb down them in case stuff like this happens.

LiLu said...

How oh HOW could you not tell us the denouement? Did you jump for it? Belly flop? Did the "tuck and roll" from 5th grade gym class finally come into use?

Ed Adams said...

This is why I always wear a parachute.

You never know when you're going to need that sucker.

Toe said...

Ah, the joys of home ownership.

You must teach me this 'mind your own bidness' wave because it doesn't seem to work on my neighbors.

Andhari said...

Better learn how to jump now, Narm. Make it fun. Wear a red cape :p

Ben said...

Having shown up at a neighbour's inexplicably without shoes or socks on asking to use the phone, I completely understand where you're coming from.