Sunday, November 22, 2009

Online, Out of Tune

The internet killed music.

Hear me out.

What we have now with the internet is the ability to find any song by any artist at any time. I don't have to go to record stores, or meet kids at shows, or get mixtapes from random people to find good music. I just log on and surf the internet for 10 minutes and BAM - I'm cool. Or cooler. Wait, what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold?

No, in today's world - the indie kids are connected - the hip-hop purists hear every demo tape. I can be into the alt-country scene in Austin without ever leaving my living room. Hell - I can tell you every B-side to some Norwegian metal bands entire catalogue without them ever leaving their country.

I can log onto Youtube and see some emo kid in his room covering Dashboard Confessional songs and crying over his girlfriend.

Play him off, keyboard cat.

And what do we get for all of this?

The Black Eyed Peas.

Kenny Chesney.

NICKELBACK.

You see - there is no one left to demand good music. We are all off listening to our XM Radio and our iPods filled with indie-rock dance songs. All that is left is the vanilla. The lowest common denominator. Fall-Out Boy.

The trend setters have gotten what they wanted - they've gotten a constant stream of the good stuff. They have an IV filled with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

But what has that left? A barren desert of auto-tune and ring-tones. Radio stations now just have to play a song, any song (I'm looking at you "Party in the USA") enough times - and people will like it. They will like it because they think they are supposed to like it. They flip on every station and that song is there, it becomes familiar, regular, it becomes engraved in "their" collective heads until we have something like "All Summer Long".

But I don't blame the masses.

No, I blame the internet.

But I can't stay mad at the internet; not after it has given me so much free porn.

No, I have to blame the man who INVENTED the internet.

That's right.

Al Gore ruined music.

14 comments:

Gilahi said...

Gosh, I don't know how to tell you this, but music was ruined long before the Internet was in wide use. MTV ruined music back in the '80s. All you have to do to be a star now is to be either attractive or so weird that you attract attention, stay vaguely in tune (although this can be electronically corrected, and it doesn't matter for rap at all), and keep in rhythm with a drum machine. You don't have to be able to sing, write, or play an instrument because visual is more important than auditory. MTV screwed up music so badly that even THEY pretty much stopped playing it.

Moooooog35 said...

So that's TWO things Al Gore has ruined.

1) Music
2) Tipper

I hear the guy is stacked.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

look at you all preacher like today. preach on.

but i like party in the USA...

Jez said...

Genius. I was wondering where my twenty-something self went. I'm glad it was reincarnated in you.

Chris said...

Bloggers ruined the Internet.

Ed Adams said...

Al Gore invented the Internet?!?!

I just thought he invented Global Warming.

Lily said...

Ed -
Al Gore didn't invent global warming.

He ruined it.

(Florida temps in NJ? Seemed like such a good idea until he came along with his stupid documentary)

Idea #527 said...

OMG. . . if I have to listen to that STUPID Miley Cyrus song one more time, I may have to kill her. Seriously. I frickin hate that song even more than any Nickelback song.

I actually talked to a friend who was a DJ at the radio staion and apparently they have to play a certain number of Top 40 songs and the average person usually listens to the radio at least an hour a day such as in their car, so they have to play a percentage of those songs in a given hour, so if you listen to a radio all day at work, the chance that you will those horrible songs, over and over greatly increases.

justjp said...

Cooler than a polar bears toe nails.

Renee said...

I hate listening to the radio!

heidikins said...

This post defines everything that is wrong with music, the radio, Al Gore, and the internet.

Write on.

xox

Andrea said...

If anything can get Nickleback off the radio and out of our lives, it should be those with even mildly decent taste in music. Blog on.

Deutlich said...

The internet is such a double edged sword. Music sucks. But porn? Totally rocks... especially for free.. from the internet.

LadyShay said...

Al gore ruins everything!