Sunday, November 29, 2009

Victoria's Secret

When I was growing up, the two dirtiest words in the English language were "Victoria's Secret".

If a girl walked in there, it meant she was coming out with something painfully sexy. Like see a doctor if this lasts more than 9 hours sexy. It would have lace and frills and straps. It would be better than football - like if football games tasted like bacon.

But now? Half the shit that comes out of that store is less scandalous than a Tyler Perry movie.

I wrote before about how music has become watered down - but now even our porn has been infiltrated by granny panties and support bras.

I was looking through a Victoria's Secret catalog the other day (for research) and saw the word comfort.


Now they are worried about lingerie being comfortable?

Well smack my ass and call me Susan. And not in the good way.

Do you think this beard is comfortable? Hell no! But I know it makes the little phillies feel all tingly in their girly bits.

No, I suffer everyday with my face lingerie and now Victoria's Secret is worried about comfort.

I'll tell you what's not comfortable.

Having this thing for 9 hours.

Maybe I should see a doctor.


Moooooog35 said...

Definitely see a doctor.

Trying to rub that out for 9 hours straight is not only an exercise in futility, but also a lesson in the value of a good hand lotion.

Don't ask me how I know that.

Lemmonex said...

Yeah, I am not a Vicky's fan. maybe for every day stuff, but not for fun times. Gotta keep it spicy, yanno?

lacochran said...

Beards have built in frills.

That sounded hotter in my head. I'll go now.

Angela said...

Maybe you should switch your lingerie catalog subscription to Frederick's?

Allison M. said...

You know, I am a fan but not of their prices. Basically, I can cut two pieces of lace together and we have an outfit. An OUTFIT.

Ed Adams said...

I just got done shopping at VS.

For my wife.

This time.

Anyway, I'm gonna post about it later.

miss. chief said...

phillies? like...girls from Philadelphia?

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

face lingerie?


Just Fine Just Dandy said...

Listen Susan, VS still has the sexy stuff. But I guess they also cater to things you have to actually wear for 9+ hours a day. The sexy stuff - well that's only worn for a little while.

mysterg said...

No gratuitous pictures? You're slipping dude!