You know when you can hum a couple of lines of a song but you can't quite think of the lyrics or who sang it - and when you try to sing it to a friend you just sound like an idiot - then a half hour later when you are in the middle of an intelligent conversation about immigration you are like, "STAY BY LISA LOEB!!! DAMNIT!" and everyone thinks you are crazy?
Well I've noticed something even more annoying than that.
Someone has been crawfishing my blue Bic pens.
Obviously at first I was going all Russel Crowe and throwing phones at people - but then I calmed down and decided I had to get to the bottom of this Inspector Gadget style - Go Go Gadget Unproductivity!
After combing the streets for witnesses and using DNA research - my Boss tried on the bloody glove and voila - it fit. So my Boss is stealing my pens - I can handle that. They are free in the mail room and, well, just a fucking pen.
But the next discovery had me more confused - I have never in my life seen her use a Bic pen. So what is happening? Is she stashing them away in some drawer in case there is ever a flood and she needs to make a raft out of pens? Is she the Jim Halpert to my Dwight Shrute in some sort of office prank?
And then it occurred to me - her Bics were probably ALSO getting stolen - in some sort of vicious circle they were making their way around the entire office.
Making me the bottom of the food chain.
And when you think about it - the office setting really is a microcosm of the circle of life in that the...
BILLY OCEAN 'GET OUT OF MY DREAMS'
Oh man I have been trying to think of that all day.