Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Trampo-Lean Back

Yes - worst title ever - but with good reason.

Trampolining is a sport? Not just a sport in the way that picking up fat chicks is a sport, but an honest-to-Narm Olympic medaling sport?

I know at least two and a half people that can do the same shit as Olympic Trampoliners.

Hell - I've been to enough Cav's games to see their mascot, Moondawg, do the same amount of flipitudes and twistyjobbers and then dunk a basketball. WHILE WEARING A GIANT DOG COSTUME.

THAT is a sport. And the thing is, Moondawg isn't even top dog at his profession. He is forever in the shadow of the greatest Trampoliner in history. The Michael Phelps of Trampolining.

The Gorilla

Hey, Mike, light the pool on fire and call me. Maybe THEN I'll be impressed.


Alexa said...

sometimes i feel like i am going to pee myself when i jump too high on a trampoline.

not peeing yourself totally deserves a medal.

JustinS said...

I'd accept trampolining as a sport if they added some measurable element to it, like distance or height.

And if they landed in glass or liquid hot magma infested with half-starved electric eel/shark hybrids that were so bad ass they could survive in the magma.

Lauren said...

Trampoline has been a sport on the Olympics for a bit. It's not part of gymnastics, though, for some reason. Anyway, did you watch it? Those people were AMAZING. I could trampoline fine, I can pull my one flip, but trying to do a twisting layout and then double and NOT bouncing out of the square? Amazing.

lacochran said...

Picking up fat chicks requires a firm grip on your clean and jerk.

moooooog35 said...

Please tell me that the trampolining team is made up of Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra.

Best. Olympics. Ever.

LBluca77 said...

Rumor has it one of the competitors went flying of the trampoline and ate shit, but I have yet to find that video of said event. But when I do I am going to be happier than a kid on Christmas morning.

Hex said...

If America is looking to load up on medals, maybe we should be working on getting a Tramp-stamp-oline team going.

Because our country would RULE at that.

c.watson said...

So this one time I was jumping on a trampoline and I twisted my ankle and proceeded to then fall off of said trampoline. I cried and cried but later my mom gave me a piece of candy and I felt better. Ever since that day when I was five I knew that trampolines were evil and trying to take over the world. And now they are just one step closer to world domination.

rs27 said...

How about trampolining while trying not to spill your red cup full of beer?

This needs to be a sport.

Kristen Kaleal said...

The sport of Olympic trampolining will be forever ingrained in my mind with a super freaky death coincidence.


surviving myself said...

The Gorilla has the best job in the world. I bet he hangs out with Nash too.

BloggingJason said...

There is absolutely no reason good enough for that title. F+.

Kelly and José said...

If that sometimes cavs mascot "Puffy Dog" could jump off a tramponline thru a flaming hoopp of fire and dunk, it would hands down by sickest thing ever done by a mascot. He is so clumsy it would be priceless to see him catch on fire and stumble around while that plastic suit burned him alive.



gunn said...

Read your comment at Blog Of A Good time about LoLo in the Olympic race and voting for Geo Bush. You are a hater and just enjoy fucking things up for everyone else.
You are no better than the bitter assholes who destroy good for you personal satisfaction.
It's bad enough that politics get injected into the Olympics by the "world leaders" but when dimwits like you do it you leave a slime trail like the slug you are.