Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Top 5 Quotes From The Nuge

Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, gave a free "concert" (read: radio show with backing band) at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame two weeks ago and let me tell you - gross. If you are into over-tanned wrinkles being covered in black leather this was the PLACE TO BE.

Ol' Ted Bear (I guess you have to know a few Ted Nugent songs to get that reference and it saddens me that I do) more or less talked over his backing band, giving us a free preview of his radio show more than his music catalog. But in his defense, he didn't kill anything with a bow and arrow - which I guess is good. The songs he did play had names like, "Love Grenade", "Weekend Warrior" and my personal favorite "Wang Dang" with the lyric:

"Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
a shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell"

It also makes references to being "so sweet when she yanks on my meat". No wonder Sweaty Teddy was a ladies man.

But he had even more memorable quotes than that gem. Here are my - Top 5 Sweaty Teddy Quotes:

1. "Say 'Thank You Uncle Teeeeeeeed!'"

2. "I'd like to thank the military folks out there for goin' 'cross seas and killing assholes. There's a lot of assholes out there and we're lucky we got these guys to go kill all them assholes for us."

3. (While wearing a cowboy hat) "Ain't no country and western bullshit for ten miles around here! Uncle Ted came in and blew that shit right out of Cleveland. This is all rock and roll - you can tell that country bullshit to go on home!"

4. "I'm black. Thats right, I'm black. Where my brothers in the audience at?"

5. "All the kids in the audience get a free machine gun! Aw hell - all the skinny girls get one too! Fat gotta load em!"


Kelly and José said...

The Nuge "So, the bottom line is it’s about choices. I think that everyone should be free to make choices, until that choice includes you [having a bowel movement] upstream from my choices, because I have to deal with the feces floating downstream, which is obesity, which is, quite honestly, it’s the drinking, the smoking — and again, I drink wine, and my brothers come to Thanksgiving dinner, and I — a bottle of beer is better for you than a Coca-Cola. I’m not against drinking. and I’m not against smoking. What I’m against is the abuse. And what I’m against is that when your choices end up coming out of my paycheck, that’s when it must come to a screeching halt. Because nothing I do causes your paycheck to dwindle, so the least you could do is show the same respect for me.

this was from a conversation he was having with Anthony Bourdain on No Reservations. If you have not seen this episode you should check it out, just for the dialogue between these two.


Mon said...

I think he might be on the next celebrity rehab.

yea, i watch that, so what?

Christina_the_wench said...

Wango Tango beats it.

m gonna get a little talcum
I'm gonna borrow it from Malcolm
Yeah you look so good baby I'm startin to drool all over myself
I got the droolin', droolin', get all wet, salivate, salivate
I got salivate late, salivate late, salivate late
Got salivate, salivate, salivate, salivate, heh heh heh"

He's black now? Alzhemiers must be kicking in.

surviving myself said...

Fucking awesome man!

This is one of my favorite posts by you no doubt.


Did you see that Kidd gave away his medal to some wife of a casino owner? J Kidd be doing some shady shit man.

Deutlich said...

Ted Nugent wigs me the fuck out

LBluca77 said...

#5 is fanfuckingtastic! Poor fat girls.

rs27 said...

I wish Ted Nugent was my uncle. The uncle that I never see.

BloggingJason said...

Man, if I didn't have to pee so bad, I'd still be there listening to Uncle Ted.

c.watson said...

Dammit! Are you saying that if I had gone to the concert I would ahve gotten a free machine gun? Now I'm sad.

Julie_Gong said...

damnit i wish i would have none this because i was out joy riding on my hog that day. and i just had my leather chaps waxed.

lacochran said...

"Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
a shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell"

He's no Frank Sinatra, is he?

ObligatoryFrankQuote: Ring-a-ding-ding.

Ted's messed up on so many levels.

(vixenchick) said...

those guitar arms are freaking me out

Gilahi said...

How the hell did this guy ever get to be popular? When the Amboy Dukes were keeping him in tow, he was able to show that he's a decent guitarist, but a major talent he's not. What an idiot. Thanks for showing him like he really is.

moooooog35 said...

Amen on the 'killing assholes' thing.

Now, if we could just get our guys back here to take care of the other assholes wearing their baseball caps sideways and their pants around their knees, we'd be golden.

Kelly and José said...

did you see this?


Fran Z said...

YEE F$%&ing HAW!!!!! Geesh- what is he doing in Toby Keith's movie???

Hex said...

Ted Nugent and Anthony Bourdain in the same room?

..There's a salad that didn't get eaten.

Awesome post bro. I'd go so far as to call it nipply.

Heff said...

You can say what you will about the Nuge, but Stranglehold is one of the greatest rock songs of all time.

Hey, was the live album "Full Bluntal Nugety" ever released ?

Phil said...

Ted Nugent played a show in New Mexico and got booed off the stage because he was openly racist in front of a bunch of Native Americans in attendance at the show. He tried to go all cowboy and he LOST. It was hilarious.