Friday, February 6, 2009

Send Donations

I'm not going to lie - I've been a pretty terrible blogger the last few days.

But I have an excuse...

Someone stole my lunch yesterday.

Lunch is far and away the most important part of my day. I feel like someone stole my innocence yesterday. I was deflowered. By a coworker. And I didn't even know their name.

So instead of writing an actual post I come to you with a request.

Send bail money.

Because I'ma kill a motherfucker.

28 comments:

moooooog35 said...

Did your lunch smell like pot?

I'd check Michael Phelps first.

Hoss said...

That sucks. I busted a co-worker eating my leftovers one day. He said I should have put my name on the box. One, I didn't think people would eat leftovers from someone else anyway (gross). Second, he knew they didn't belong to HIM so why would it matter if there was a name on the outside? It's not like he was confused and thought they were his! People suck.

Marie said...

I bet you it was George Bush. He's so bored now that he'll just do anything to annoy someone.

Matt said...

I bet it was Alexa...

Allison M. said...

you know how we feel about lunch around here....

Bethie said...

My boss stole my yogurt this morning! Right after he saw me put it in the fridge! But lunch...oh lunch is far worse. I think the law provides an out for you in this regard. And if not I know a great criminal defense attorney in Akron...

Gruver said...

I would start with either Perk or Fez. They're both a little shady when it comes to food.

Arjewtino said...

Don't worry, dude. President Jesus will find it.

rs27 said...

This is why I don't bring my lnch in a Transformers lunch box. that shiz is valuable.

Heff said...

Stolen Lunch : IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.

Giggle Pixie said...

I've had that happen to me at work too. Man, that totally ruins your day! So sorry somebody did this to you. If you need any help getting your revenge on the MF, let me know - I'll hold him down while you kick his keister!

Fizzgig said...

hell nah! once i stole someones cheese at work, and i knew what i was doing. what i didnt know was apparently it was my direct coworkers, and the cheese cost a lot of money. (why i dont know i spit it in the trash! it was lemon stilton? who does that to cheese?)needless to say i never fessed up.

sure glad no one killed me!

surviving myself said...

You mean you take other people's lunches???

STOP IT!

Best Ahhnold movie ever.

Maxie said...

i'll totally bail you out

Cal said...

Oh no! I stole a lunch yesterday! But I'm pretty sure it wasn't yours...it was a leftover box lunch from a conference in my building. If I hadn't eaten it they would have thrown it away about half an hour later so really, I went dumpster diving only just before the dumpster came into play.

lacochran said...

No bail money because the universe provides.

Check it:

You're out a lunch. You kill. You go to jail. You get free lunch. !

Plus, you can learn new shivving techniques and you're no longer bored with work. Plus all the sexy time you can stand.

Well, after that, you probably won't be able to stand, but you see where I'm going, there.

fiona said...

LMAO@LA
She's right you know, unless someone steals your lunch in the slammer and ransoms it for sexytime
wv- bropusi, something to look forward to!

Karen said...

I would totally cry right at work if somebody up and stole my lunch! I think you should pee on the offender's lunch (if you find out who it is of course) next Monday.

LiLu said...

It was me. I'm sorry. I just can't resist the Snack Packs!

Karen said...

p.ess. I'd send a donation, but I don't think bologna travels well.

And what in bloody Hell is 'feckhano' or word verification master? Actually, sounds kind of like 'f**k if i know' when spoken ;-)

Megkathleen said...

Someone stole my diet Dr. Pepper one day. I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life. So I'll bail you out, but only if you promise to return the favor one day.

longredcape said...

That is just unacceptable. Next time you should figure out a way to make your food give everyone else diarrhea except yourself, and if it gets stolen again you'll know who took it because they'll be constantly going to the bathroom.

I never said it was my best plan.

Regardez Moi said...

ahaha.

that motherfucker deserves to die. that's all i'm sayin.

deutlich said...

I'm pretty sure it was Alexa too

CAVFC said...

Just found your blog and love it! :) Hope you catch the thief and teach 'em a lesson.

insomniaclolita said...

LOL people are right, you're totally funny :)

MsPuddin said...

who needs lunch? skinny is in!!

just a girl... said...

seriously who odes that. oh and if you get one call it better be a home number. does anyone even have home numbers anymore?