Thursday, March 26, 2009

WyW on Thursday - Nashville Edition

Well, y'all - I'm down in Nashville for the rest of the week, drinking and...ok really just drinking. Does forgetting the words to country songs but still moving my mouth like I'm singing so no one notices count as an activity? Yes? Then I am going to be BUSY.

Since I'll be in the country music capital of the world - I thought it was only fitting that I ask you, The People, who you would do-see-do all night long.

That's right - it's time for -

WOULD YA WEDNESDAY ON THURSDAY! The Nashville Edition.

Where you don't have to be into emo to wear tight jeans.

Let's see if you would let your privates do the line dance with these two contestants.

The first is new-age country superstar Kenny Chesney. For some reason all the girls LOVE this guy. Being that he is 5'2" and looks like he should be in junior high - I think this proves that girls are just as big of pedophiles as guys. The reason girls never get busted for it is what 13 yr old boy would complain if he got to touch a boobie? Seriously, I wonder what they feel like. In my head they feel like a cloud wrapped in a big happy balloon. Someday, Boobies - someday we'll meet.

Our second contestant has plenty of cloud balloons to go around. She was Pam Anderson before Pam Anderson was cool - that's right - Dolly Parton! I would do her just to hear the random stuff that came out of her mouth. I bet during sex it is just one long stream of awkward country saying culminating in something about buttering her biscuits. Mmmm biscuits. The best part about country people is that no matter what happens we can compare it to food. Like calling her cloud balloons "biscuits". She's so crazy!

Anyways you know the rules - I put up two pictures and you tell me if you would get down on their range.

Kenny Chesney -

Dolly Parton -

33 comments:

B said...

I think I'd rather be celibate than diddle either.

Marie said...

Not even if he was the last guy in the entire universe.

Ashley said...

Not a chance.

Christina_the_wench said...

He'd never get over the fact that I don't have a penis. And after the botoxing that is her face, ewww. She reminds me of The Joker. *shivers*

Soda and Candy said...

Heyll no on both counts.

But I would go to lunch with Dolly. Southerners know how to EAT.

LBluca77 said...

So now you are comparing old ladies to gay men?

Pretty Unfamous said...

Maybe I'd let Kenny Chesney undo my cowboy (cowgirl?) belt... But only maybe.

Unknown said...

I would, just so I could say "I've been inside Dollywood, and it was spectacular."

Anonymous said...

What exactly does it mean to divorce because of FRAUD?

I think our boy Kenny must really be Kendra or something.

Hex said...

Even now, I'd work 9 to 5 on her.

Matt said...

I just cant do it, laddie.

I dont know what movie thats from... or if its from a movie. But I know I have heard someone say that to me before.

Anonymous said...

I would Parton her Dolly...Wait, that was lame. I quit.

fiona said...

I LOVE Dolly, Kenny...yeugh

Moooooog35 said...

I'm 5'2 - maybe I should start singing country.

I'd do Dolly.

On a related note:

I have no standards.

Bethie said...

That has to be the douchiest picture of Mr. Chesney available. I simply do not think his tractor is sexy.

nova said...

no and no

Rahul said...

The fact that you are now putting up better looking men than women is very distressing.

Kellie said...

I think if I were good and wasted I'd do Kenny. But Dolly? Hell to tha no.

Fizzgig said...

what? 5' 2? someone is shorter than me? Definately not doable.

Dolly has a sunny disposition. I choose her.

Anonymous said...

Kenny isn't 5'2..he is 5'6..still classifies him as a little guy but so what!! I wouldn't kick him out of my bed. Love how people say he is gay because of the "fraud" incident. So as it stands, Kenny still has more money and more women...

Miles said...

I was expecting the lass to be young, maybe a little rough looking, someone who if I saw at I bar I'd consider carefully, but I saw Dolly and my gut reaction was... absolutly.

Andhari said...

Dolly. HAHAHAHAHA.

Maxie said...

yuck. no thank you. PUCA SHELLS.

Allison M. said...

neither. couldn't you have picked a cute country star?

Anonymous said...

I would ride his tractor all night long. And all day long. Saddle up cowboy :)

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

this is just wrong. so wrong.

SS+1 said...

Kenny might only be 5'6 but I'd never know it if he was laying down! Yeah...Um...I'm gonna move my desk to the basement now..If you need me, I'll be in storage room B. kthnx

AMANDA said...

These people are brutal! I love Kenny! I will type that again because it felt so good. I LOVE KENNY!

So@24 said...

Dolly's partons.

Jez said...

The fact that Chesney is gay would make me doing him less, um, awkward, that is, to say, it would make more sense. A Dolly fantasy? I've had those all my life.

Jez said...

Oh, and don't believe that Kenny is gay because of the Fraud thing. Believe it when you see him dancing on stage. He's as gay as a $3 tangerine. Whatever the fuck that means.

Phil said...

Um, I think I'd pass. Pretty boy "rugged" just doesn't do anything for me. Seriously, anymore, Dolly Parton is more masculine.

Anonymous said...

MMMMmmm, I'd ride Kenny's tractor anyday!! Cowboys do it for me...:)